Wednesday, 16 February 2011

New Zealand - North Island!!!

So after my beautiful Quantas flight.. where I practically had a middle row to myself and 3 pillows to prep myself up to the sexy TV screen and pop that plane food into my mouth!!

Arrive in Auckland... can't even get over how friendly everyone is!!! ha ha " WELCOME TO NEW ZEALAND!" with the genuine smile to greet you at border control where they actually seems happy to bits that your Visiting to their country... So a lovely fellow ave me a cheap ass deal on a taxi afre to the city if I grabbed another couple to come in the van!! easy as!!! So Arrive in Auckland and have the biggest Culture shock going.. didn't like the concrete..didn't like the people walking around as I was use to dirt track roads...and speaking spanish to it was full of enthusiastic 18 years olds... and the price of everything literally made me have massive poo in my pants!!! $4 for 6 eggs!! (that' 2 pounds...) and $5 for a warm flat beer... MAN I WANTED TO GO BACK TO MEXICO!!!! where booze and drugs was cheap....and you never had to save your pennies when it came to accomodation...literally the cheapest I paid was $24 for a 10 man dorm!!! that's sharing with 10 people for 12 squid!!! eeerrggghhh!!

So I stayed in Auckland for all 2 days!! Literally didn't like the place... tehre's nothing there... you can walk around for 2 hours and see it  on my first night when I should have been sleeping off my jetlag... I ended up on a fricking pub crawl.... spent around $70..worked out i could take money out on my creditcard and raped the ATM of $600 in total relapse to the exchange rate!! but also knowing that I couldn't put the money backinto my account as I was blocked out of my account!!... and then ended up in the common room doing naughty things with a 19 year old yorkshire boy who clearly had ADD!! ... so by the second day i booked my naked bus!! cheap as cheaps travel  compared to all that bullshit "kiwi Experiece" "stray" or the "magic bus" which actually so expensive and possibly my worst nightmare - cheesy tour guide who's younger than me... daring me to down a tequilla shot...stuck on a bus with  the cast of the inbetweener...fricking middle class 18years old on a gap year talking about their A level results! No thank you it's all about the naked bus and hitchiking baby!
So wet stright to Lake taupo!! absolutely stunnig...yes this is what i wanted from NZ breath taking senery and "pak'n'save" their version of Adsa i ass basic ingrediants and ....yes twominute noodles the backpackers saving grace to eating on a budget and travelling light!! Man the Mi Goreng noodles

were awesome just because they had like 5 different tiny sachets of all kindas of crazy flavours you throwin one packet (later did I not know that I would be living eating pooing these noodles and the sachets.. were NOT a novelty after a month of them!!! ha ha)

But Lake taupo was awesome.. this is where I did my sexy Skydive!! perfect place to doit...over a volcanic crater lake with mt doom (mt tongariro) in the background and the beautiful Snow capped mt Ngauruhoe... fucking incredible... So I woke up to crap myself as it was totally overcast and looked like it was gonna piss down... shit i have a widnow of one day as I was meant to be leaving the next day for wellington...

So I skydived with a company called skydive Taupo.... and they were fricking awesome dude.. clearly love their fucking jump... constantly jumping out of planes...adrenaline junkies having a fricking laugh all day every day... two fo the guys were from wales... and one even had a girlfriend from Llanishen..smal little world my friend!! So I was teamed with Lee and I bought the cheapest package going which was the 12,000ft no t-shirt shazam!! Lee was the most awesome dude ever....blantly got the best guy for the job... whipping out jokes... constantly in the small plane... about what to and not pull.. mostly death jokes!!!! ha ha and coz he could tell I was also a wee adrenaline junkie myself... we didn't jumpout the plane.. we did a sexy backwards flip out!!! OMG there's is nothing better in this world than doing FREEFALLING!!!

Man there is nothing more fucking pumping than falling at 120 mph at zero velocity....wind in your face... looking at the orgasmic scenery of lake taupo ...then boom... the parachute whips out..and you glide for about 5mins... which lee the safe as fuck guy that he is.... fricking let me take the rains... so I could spin like

mofo through the air!!!
I was the second to hit the ground and smoothly didn't fall.. and literally walked back down to earth like a cat with 9lives... Lee said I was a pro...andspent the whole day contemplating if this could be my career change!!...we allgot in and watched everyone video's! so funny to watch the german dude who was in his 40's (the one who wasmost crapping himself) video as his frt parachute didn't open properly... and they had to use the emergency chute...which looked fucking hurrendous because in the video even the Instructor was shitting himself.. apparently it happen 1 in a 1000!!..and it takes them 7mins to pack the first parachute...but for the back up enable it to open to perfection.... it takes 2 hrs to pack!!

ha ha.. So as a group of parachutrers...chuffed to bits with our  morning daredevil antics all went down the lake to wimchill and eat pies.... good day.... That evening i mustered up the cash to treat myself to a few cheeky glasses of white wine...and randomly met this dude fromSweden called Karl..such a dude...looked like a blonde haired hobit!! ha ha appropriate for NZ hey!!... and he told me he was camping up the tongariro river to do trout fishing for a week.... and needs company.... so i um and ahh coz i just bought my ticket to wellington... ha ha.. so I said give me 2 hours to think about it...literally after a cigerette came up and was like " fuck it i'm a YES girl" lets do it... and that was the best decision I made in NZ!!! I was doing the true backpacker thing.. getting a car.. driving to places no buses can rweach and camping under the southern cross!!! FUCK YES!!!

So that week basically contained fly fishing...trout eating..trout smoking... chilling in the hot springs and scoring the best weed from 2 of the most awesome and welcoming mauri's, smoking and laughing to the point of deficating myself about steve the guy who own the tackle shop who had the best tash ever and said  "dry fly" in the most funny way...drank boxed wine... and slept in my beautiful £7 tent on the river banks, washing and drinking from the fresh water...and doing Yoga when Karl went fishing!!..we also drove all the way up to Mt doom and had a cup of tea and had the most breathtaking pictures (which karl has coz i don't have a camera) !

 Right so after a week of Trout Trout and more trout...seriously learnt too myuch about trout! We took the car back and after a failed attemptedtopickup a campervan...we hitchhiked to Wellington...

Hitchhiking...can i say is fucking awesome... fort of all I saved shit loadsa of cash not paying for a bus...but hitchhiking also gives you faith backin the huan race....while saving money an listening to all kinds of crazy stories!!! ha ha...
So a beautiful lady from manchester picked us up first.. and drove us all the way to Napier...which was an easy 200km journey and we got to admire the wine region!! She told us crazy ass stories about working in a prison in NZ and allabout mauri Lady boys,... who get raised as girls if theyre family has too many boys...yet still have a penis so have to go to the male prisons and make a killing from prositution!! ha ha

the got pickedup by another dude who was also from up north and staying in NZ for the old 5 year passport ticket to OZ...told us his crazy story about how he drove around the wole world on a motorbike with nothing!! and was inspired by the book..."Zen and the art of motorbike maintence"

Another couple who picked us up was a mother and a son from kangeroo island...who drove us all the way to Palmerston and the 18year old was the hottest little surfer dude...who i shamefully fancied and flirted with throughout the whole journey because he reminded me of Stingray from neighbours!!! ha ha

The last dude was this oldguy who was on abusiness trip to checkon wineries to make sure they were carbon friendly... who again was at first a bit weird but once he got chatting was really fucking interesting and also had travelled all round the world!! and bless him... dropped us up in Masterton which was 100 km from our destinations... but after 7 different hitches..endless conversations... dusk approuching me and karl decicded to treat ourselves to a heinken and wait till dark tonaughtliy pitch the tents in a park... sonoone could tellus off and then piss off at 6am... with noone knowing we had been there...which funny enough.... as we were on the way down to illegally camp... a lovely old dude let us camp in his neighbours back garden coz they were their.. and then in the morning invited us in for coffee and breakie.. which annoyingly karl refused coz we had to hit the road...catch the morning commuters to hitchhike to wellington
Can this was one Hitchhiker I will never forget...she was an awesome  30 yr old Mauri who has 2 kids and has to commute 100km everday to little hut which is just outside wellington coz she couldn't afford the rent.. she was so funny and the car was a complete trash bag... the journey was windy as fuck so it was like being thrown around in a NASA simulator with no handbars to holdon to!!! ha she took us to the bus station to get the localbus into town...and then like a miracle from JC himself... pulled out a $20 and told u to get 2 allday bus tickets... we flat out refused and told her we can't take her money!!!! but she totally i told her she has epic amount of karma coming her way and that f I ever pickup a hitchhiker...I will totally pass on the good love!!!!

So we hit wellington for one day and night..went to the awesome museum there and learnt so much about mauri culture and unfortunetely how the british came and raped the bringing deer and trout ad all other crazy non native animals over here for sports etc....and learnt about earthquakes and volcanic stuff!!! Met a dude called alex with karl met in his first week and adopted him inour travels... found  a free car...Nojoke it was as if the universe was literally on our side !!! ha ha this girl who karl met in the top north of NZ decided she was gonna settle in Wellington for 3 months to make some mola to carry on travelling and keeping it parked in Wellington was gonna cost her a bomb!! So we got it for free and at 7am in morning boarded that sexy ferry to the south island.... soexcited about it as everyone was like.... "it's such an awesome ride ...the scenery is awesome!!" eeerrrrr well first of all it was pissing it down!! surprise and when we got started it was so foggy you couldn't see anything... the only thing I saw for a good 1hour was the toilet bowl as

I threw up due to the epic crossing... then only thing that settled my stomach was lying on the floor and watching 2 hours of emmerdale from the cornerof my eye!! not that exilherating... at all!! but hey got to rainy Picton and fuckmewe were in the Southern island...with 2 weeks to get to Christchurch...shit!!!

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