Sunday, 12 December 2010

Oaxaca, Puerto Escondio, San Christo..Palenque dirty dirty Cancun and 32hour bus journey, and visa Penalty!

So what can i say about Oaxaca?.. everything that is mexican is in Oaxaca. Up in the mountains, scorching sun,coloursgalore, traditional mexican food like Mole (chocolate chilli thing) lots of people in traditional dress, and look more indigenous.  Oaxaca and Chipas are what is true Mexico and the best place for tamales!! 2100km in the mountains..high altitude, hot hot sun bleaming the crapout of you.. markets glaore and a true sense of mexican art and tradition.
So I arrived unexpectly due to my confusion about the morelia buses, (there was one at 7.30am from Guanahuato) Soi thought's fate lets get my sexy ass to Oaxaca!  good choice!

After a 6 hour bus journey to MexicoCity, Metro-ing it from the terminal Norte (north) to the Terminal TAPO (south), then 7 hour bus to Oaxaca intothe hostel at 1am... but just me... on my own in a 6 man room!! beauty caught up on some much needed "rest"!
Did literally 6 one day, the town is full of small art galleries... which finally are fucking awesome! somegood contemporary art, and prints.
my favourite was the fotograifia- was an awesome free gallery, had 3 rooms with old skool black and white mexican 1900 porn, anyone who knows me knows I love that shit! also some awesome "helmut Newton-estque" photography of local mexican people of Oaxaca. Also went to a private Viewing of an opening exhibition in the Graphia gallery,anythng for a free glass of wine and some sick Lithography and screenprints.

the whole town was gearing up for Day of the dead! it was incredible, you couldn't walkanywhere without seeing multicoloured skeletons, sugar iced skulls with sequin eyes, the brightly coloured paper tissued bunting, Life size paper mache skeletons hanging from shop doors and sand sculpting painted dias de Muertes. crazy stuff.. they even had these special loaves of bread where they stick these wax lady faces in it!

Went to the mont alban ruins... They are a zepitec ruins so ticked that box.
Met Jack, ed, and dave. Ed and Dave pure ass bristolian, who love tits, booze, football, and Alcapoco, theyre were so fucking funny! went out on the piss with them, and a canadian called Ryan, drank Mascal for the first time, it's like tequilla sister, and woke up with a crappy hangover for Monte Alban...and had heart pulpatations while climbing all the steps!
Ate at the market place all didn't have a clue how to order... it was literally a whole alley of Stalls with just shit loads meat hanging... but onmy first time round just got this crazy dish which was a whole Tortilla which was covered in fried beans chicken tomato, Avocado and the creme de la creme Oaxaca Cheese!! HHHmmmmm so goood. But second time round I took the boys... and we order a trough load of meat, steak, a whole skpping rope of Chorizo , and picante marinated pork!! it was a exican version of Happy hour at Harvester! ha ha

After the heart pulpatation in monte alban, we brewed the epic market and bought loadsa amazing food we cooked an amazing feast at thhe hostelfor all of us!
I heard some crazy singing coming from the church in the Zocolo So I cheekily snuck in to see what hte crack was. The whole fricking place was completely covered in orchids, and they were doing this crazy ruital where they were moving of the jesus/ was fucking awesome... there was crazy aount of mexican old ladies crying and singing..all holding those glass candels with pictures of jesus on it! and they Priest swang the smoking things they guys with rubber gloves picked up the statue and moved it through the church, te congration where all reaching out to touch it,some crazy old lade were kissing it and preying at it! it a pretty fucking awesome thing to be a part of! 

Took the most epic whinding mini bus ride from Oaxaca down to puerto Escondio....spent the whole of the 8 hours wanting to be sick on myself!

Puerto Escondio
Puerto Escondio was MY FAVOURITE PLACE in mexico, and Tower bridge hostel was fucking awesome and for a week hung out with some awesome peeps
Tez an 40yr old West countryier who was like a teddy bear, Mark the hottest Canadian I've ever met who surfs and rides a motorbike (he IS Micheal from Grease 2!!!), Courtney the first safe a s fuck girl that I have met in mexico from Melbourne, Mick typically OZ geezer from Sydney who thought I was an actual Ginga!! Bill, yet another HOT Aussie, jack my fellow sheep, crazy ass owner steve who constantly just walks into the girls dorm for seminaked hug!! and cleans his dogin the pool! clearly suffers from Adult ADD, Julia another cool chick from brit! Anna who wasinlove with Julio and never left Puerto and of course dip shit the disslocated cat that I stepped on! Then theres the people who work there who are safe a fuck tabitha and her hot wake boarding boyfriend (one for the spankbank), carlo and her dreadlocked boyfriend, and damian and mirika from OZ.
First of all thisplace was awesome, Widescreen TV outide,pool...the gammiest kitchen ever, pool table and totally access to the Hi-fi! many nights were spent smoking weed and watching Law and Order. There's 3 beaches, Zigatela whch is a surf beach and you can't swimin that bad boy!, Manazillo which I went once coz it's night wt that great, but Carazillo was right where the hostel was and it was a fucking heaven!! we'd all go down there togethere and just chill with the still!

Second night was toga party, so we all whipped out our bed sheets from our beds,and from4 years of art school managed to whip up from steve fucking garden!! ha ha that night was very messy and a drunken night...saw nick there ... talk to some dude for an hour about how i was gonna do orphange work in mexico errr no... and broke into one of the double bedroom upstairs for to Explore wat aussie football rules are!!!ha ha
The night after that was halloween, whoo spent like 3 hours trawling the market tofind anything  that resembled face paint!! And randomly ended up buy pick a mix fireworks with Mick and Jack! Ha ha alsohad the balls to eat Chipilmas (chilli spiced insects) which were everywhere in Oaxaca market...fucking so gross coz i didnt pulloff the legs...and actually tasted like like a fishy Vag!! So practically face painted up the wholeof the hostel...mark dressed up as a transexual ggranny mexican wrestler and handing out candy to all the kids!!!! possibly the funniest thing I'dseenall week! So went to find the halloween party in Zigeltela and failedmiserably...but we'd drank somuchin the hostel and then tookto the beach with somecheeky cans... randdomly ended up at the most amazing restaurant which was cheapas chips and did the most incredible tacos... so have awhole family meal at like 2am..!! so funny!
Then NOvember the 2nd came... YES it was DAY OF THE DEAD!! The security lady who did everything at the hostel, who lived in a shack at the endof the road, had this incredible shrine, completely cover in orange marigolds andon the table were pictures of family members and their favourite foods and beautiful. But THIS was the day... that me and Mickgot our MExican Skull tattoos...on the day of the dead... so appropriate!!.. I literally was so happy I literally had to stop myself pooing my pants I was that excited... So tookone last dipin the sea, and 6pmrolled up and everyone camedown with us to get it!!! Raul jut needed to copy my design but he drew the most sick ass B&W mexican skull for mick!! So I went first coz the excitment was whey to much for me!!! Raul was fricking awesome... didnt hurt at all (only the last line that scraped across my achilles heel!! fuck me that hurt!) but was over in an hour!! Blesscourtney She was continuly chatting shit to me so I wouldn't notice what was going on! ha ha...Soit was Mick turnsin the chair.... tink the place he had that bad boy hurt fricking shit loadsa so it was our job to ply him with beer and lollypops while he swallowed that teaspoon of concrete! ha ha I did spendalot of that time prancing around with my tat, chating to Rauls surfer mate!! whoo that night me and courtney got wasted with the mexican guys anna was hanging out wth,which ended up being at 2 house partys in these ick aprtments that lookover zigatela beach...goodnight man... finihed the evening drunkley cooking up a feast in the kkitchen with stolen foodfrom the fridge!! ha ha and watching the fucking ants trawl a twoway systemup the fridge!!! gammy!(little did we know two days later we get food poisioning from the gammy chorizo we stole! KARMA!)

Bought a beautiful bag of weed foronly 200peso which literally lasted my through Puerto all the way to Cancun there was that much!! nothing beats a joint on the beach and a beautiful rolled 3 skin Biffter in the evening which a massive bag of potato chips(or as Mark refers to them as tree trunks)
On my last night it was 'salsa night' at Congo! At that point about 20 annoying american invaded the hostel with their beer pong!! can they not! but it was an awesome night..we stayed in the hostel till 12am just blaring some 80's 90's classics,smoking drinking and playing pool!, I managed to convince the boys to come out Salsa dancing...and fair play to me and mark, we drunkly totally rocked the dance floor! ha ha people were literally moving out our way coz i think we were carnagly bombarding people with our drunken salsa moves!..also oneof the mexican guys who I met the other night whos a pro salsa dacer said he teach me somemoves...but dude this guy was so strict and sucked all the fun out of it!! Much more fun doing it drunk with another drunkern falling all over the place!! ha ha.. rescued one of the Americans froman embryo and on the way to the taxi met a "rather english gentleman who own a yaught and laughed in the poor guys face at how posh he was. Hilarious
So spent the last day on the beach... and at 9pm.. it was time to leave sexy Puerto!! I actually was so had that horrible sinking gut thing because i didn;t want to go!!

It's crazy coz everyone says that when you go travelling you meet people you never wanna leave, and that's what happened in puerto, Courtney who was safe as fuck and was on my meet many girl when travelling who just because u both have a vag, doesn't mean we have the same sense of humour.. and actually sad to say but most girls I've met travelling Mexico are true penis's, but not Courtney.Mick was the dude who had the balls to get a tatt with moi. Bill was only a round for two days but was party boy from jackass, and then there was Mark the man who stole a piece of my heart! No longer will I drunkly spill my G&T and argue, with friends that there is no perfect man, beacuse I believe I met him very briefly in Puerto Escondio!! And all the staff there were cool as fuck and I WILL go back to Puerto and spend at least a month there!!! I guess I so badly wanted to stayed because of the friendships I had made, but that's the tough thing about travelling is that you pick experience over friendship! you have this little man inside you that keeps tuging on your gut string to remind you that you don't want to miss out on the rest of your travels...and i knew i had so much of mexico to see and timewas running out!! but this was the first time since I started travelling that I was so gutted to be leaving! literally smoked like 3 cigerettes on the bus stop epically debating about sacking off the bus!!eekkk can! Also didn't help that as I boarded the bus....tarted getting pains in te old stomach (courtey that day was literally helded up in bed with the worst stomach pains that even Bascopan could sort out!!) So oh yes the Stolen Chorizo fricking took it revenge on me, on a 13 hour night bus to San Christobel!! Was not Pretty, and slightly emotional havig to listen to JAck snore throughout the whole experience!!

San Cristobel & Palenque
So as soon as we arrived at San christobel... I stepoff the bus.. and instantly wanted to go back to Puerto..It was grey misty and Fucking cold!!! I had to crackout the hoodie, leater jacket....beanie and I was still cold! San Christobel is the hub of Chipas, which where you will find true indiginous/mayan mexicans wearing felted black shalls, babies wrapped arounnd their mothers in shawls, small tiny cobbled streets in the mountains about 2300ft Above sea level!
So as soon as we got to hostel I had to bail because I was so ill... I managed to chill for a good 5 hours and wasonly sick once!! But by 1pm..I realised the cold frsh mountain air made me feelsomuch better so it was Me, Jack (surprise!) Mirika and Damian a cool Ausie couple from Melbourne who saved me fromJAck continous dead pan talks of Politics and econmics!! So the lush thing about San Christobel is that it has a full on Cafe/bar culture, like the lanes in brighton. So we went to a coffee shop to warm our mittens up...then as we tried to find a travel agent for our horse riding adventure we stopped off at yet another cafe to brew a hot espanade (which is basically amexican pasty!! dirty) and hot chocolate... which is a mixture of amazingly brewed chocolate, hot milk, cinnemon,chilli and nutmeg!!hhhhhmmmmmmmmmm...booked our bad boy trip for a scorcher of 130pesos then hit the Museum of mayan medicine. hmmmmmm wasn't as amazing as the old Lonely Planet said it was...but i did watch an interest vido about Midwives in the Chipas villages.. where they do these crazy ruitals of rotating bottles ofpepsi, and a frigging Axe around the women in labour... and burry the placenta upwards for a boy, downwards for a girl in the next pregancy... I actually heaved seeing someone burst the membrane of a placeta releasing all the gibs out!! (eerrrggghh can't beliee people eat that shit!!) something someone with foodpoising should not see!!!..
So we went backto the cold crap hostel I crawled into bed and attempted to sleep...but just endedup hearing a dirty 60year old mexicanin doubledenim...snoring his ass offall night!!sad times!
So didn't need the alarm to wake meup at 7.30am... to get ready for our horse riding extravaganza, wokeup mireka and Damian andon  todded off for a dirty whch for the first timin mexico i have Ranchos Heravo, which is fried eggs on a soggy tortilla drenched in a tomato marinana sauce sounds disgusting but actually does the job...and by 9am we were in the back of a truck with another 6 lost hopefuls heading for the hills to find our horses!! ha ha after 20mins of waiting on a dirt track... the gammmy horses came around the cornnere .. all 10 of them, lead by two scruffy mexicans, who you can tell, hates doing this everyday!!! ha ha, so I avoided making eye cotacted with the guys so i didn't get the crazy white horse that seemed to be frothing at the mouth, you knew if you mounted that bad boy you'd end up like christopher reeves! But I amazing got this beautiful Caramel horse, exactly the kind of horse I wanted when I 10. So did what I do best and mounted that sexy beast and guy tried to explain to the guy that my stirups were too long.. so he adjusted them but with my short stubby welsh leg they didn't help much, so I guess holding on is the best option! so we started off...and it been a while since I horse rode... so it took me some time to get use to the horse, but after 10min I realised I had a beauty... she was totally up for going up front... and occasionally fancied a wee trot! so we named my bad boy horse speedy gonazalist. So we treked for like 2 hours up through the was waded through mud that was like half a meter deep...and through the woods and massive rock formations where the poor horses were literally couldn't work out where to put their feet, we then trotted through some villages where at one point with the misty clouds arounds us, and a swarm of black sheep than ran between our horses legs I actually thought i was in Wales agains!! ha ha but we finally reached the mayan village of Chaumala. This viallage is a true mayan viallage where the church in the middle of the town,from the outside lookslike a spanish catholic church, but really when you go inside they are practicing maywean religion.... they even named all their gods so that they matched them to catholicism saints, so under spanish rule,  so that the spanish thought they were practising their chosen religion! The village was had a errie indiana feel to it, we went to the market and just walking around you feel like such an outsider and everyones looking at you... your not aloud to take potos out of respect for the village so your just walking around as pure's a wee bit vogueristic. so after our hour and a half was up...we treked back to our scatty horses. Mounted Speedy Gongalez and literally while i wasn Chumala the horse have been snorting crack coz she literally started bombing it down road.... and when we got  to amassiveopen sapceigave her a wee kick so that we could canton....but fuck me she went into full gallop! With the saggiest stirrups  didn't helpmuch i did my best to ride with it... and it was fucking awesome.. we evensped through the woods dodging  ducking and diving out of the branches way..seriously scary but totally awesome...she started to chill once we hit the rocks and we managed to do most of the walk by the time we stopped...but that was something to definitely remember. Also as we travelled through I could see a few zapaista which were around the road leading up to chumula, but i never got to go a zapatisa village, but Ryan who we catch up with in Tulum did and showed me the photos of them with their balaclavas and their amazing graffti/murial of their propaganda. So fucking cool.
We were done by 2pm...sowe decided to go walk up the epic amounts of steps... to the top of church in San cristobel...was an epic climb..but a cool vew of te city... but the church...well you seen one you seen them fucking all!

We then discovered a small little tapas bar with a open fire that served only wine from around south America and everytime you ordered a glass, you got a free plate of tapas! So the constigncy plan was that the more wine we drank the more food we'd get. well by 5pm I was shit faced! I gave up after 5 large glasses of wine.. Jack, Mireka and Damian had one more and I than me,and that's when the fun began!So we were all whey too pissed for 7pm! we headed back to the hostel... to drnk a wee bit more, and for me to smoke myself out of the drunkness... so rolled a nice fat one, and damian give me someof his sexy wine and we played this weird card game that made us learn spanish number (Damian and Mireka did spanish lessons in Oaxaca) funny how jack kept losing, beacuse he actually couldn't eve grasp "UNO"!!! But anyway as we kept drinking I realised that Mireka was absolutely wasted, and she started whipping out some classics "I don't know how to smoke weed, coz only poor people smoke weed" she was definitely siht faced... so we decided to go outside as there was music blasting from the square...It was cool as fuck... there lots of old mexicans salasing to a brass band... of course due to my newfound love of salsing got stuck in...I becameadopted by thislovely 68year oldman with his sexy 50year old"companionn" who for 50years old could move her feet quicker than mine...and she showed me how to megrigane, salsa...and someother crazy dancing that involved shuffling my feet at 60mph!! jackattepted to join in but just looked like a typical drunken manc..dancing at someones golden anniversary!! absolute can! but the band started to play jive soI felt as a westerner... to teach my sexy old lady friend some moves.. ha ha so for 4 whole minutes was spinning a middle aged women in reebok trainers around the plaza!! ha ha! by this point Damina and Mirka were having a wee Barney and at one point involvedme chasing Mirika down the road into traffic!! me being stoned.. fell through atfer a minute due to the complexity of dodging cars while intoxicated!! Damian reappeared and there was a funny moment in that night when himand mirika were having a heart to heart (obviously mirika being absolutely wasted was talking more and my job was to sit nest to damian and inbetween talks to mireka...feeding himajoint throughout the indepth conversation... very funny moment... and if the night couldn't get any more random... I rejoined my old granny bumchums... and when the band stopped playing... me and jack won the dancing comptetion!! WTF yes I won a goodie bag of a laydle and a tea towel! ( obviously putting me in my place!!) and clearly JAck with his twoleft feet won out ofpitty for the white guy truffle shuffling to some salsa! Man and he didn't shut the fuck up about it!!! ggrrrrr. But beacuse I felt so bad and the fact that I don't need a laydalor tea towel I gave my prize up to the sexy lady who taught me how to dance!! and for thet the old guy offered mte to stay with him in San christobel for 3 months...I declined sadly.. not without a fucking electric blanket mate.. oh and when we won the award Jack made a total penis out of himself and did a fucking english speech like "i'd like to thank my parents blahblah blah" to which all the mexicans looked so confused, and thanksfully with my little spanish I knew recovered from the turdy social situation and thanked them in spanish! what a Penis! went to bed at 1pm...only to be woken up at 5.30am... to get on the bus to planenque!! boooooooooooo why doi never remember rulenumber 1...don't get shit faced when the next day you have an epc journey!!!!
So woke up at 5.30am!! got pick up in a tiny mini bus and embarked on yet another windy journey! Somuch so that poor mireka filled a whole crisp bag full of red wine puke!! even I had to old down my eggs and refried bean breakfast the journey was that bad,in fact weven the huge mexican guy next to me was heavy breathing coz it looked like he was gonna blow chunks!! eerr but after 4 hours we hit Agua Azul which are beautiful waterfalls...they are meant to be bright blue.. but typical because it was raining it was a murky brown! but it was so beautiful to see how powerful they are and to be out in fresh air and walking up to the top of the falls was so beautiful!....Thnen another 2 hours to mis ho waterfall which was incredible.. on massive long waterfall that you could walk underneath... so me and Mireka..! went right behind being te girls that we were.. tookit one step further.. went under them and across where we got completely soaked... but the view was awesome!! Back on the bus and to the only ruins I have been jizzing myself over "Planaque!"
So we got to palenque and was told we only had 2 hours boooo! Planaque are these incredible mayan ruins right in the heart of the chipas can walk around  them,on top of them, it's the only ruins I got a true essence of ancient mayan culture. And the setting is magnificent you can walk up to the top of the temples and see across the whole of the jungle, the second part of the palenque you literally walk through the jungle and you can see and hear the howler monkeys screeching. It's looks totally like Indiana Jones with the huge towering trees that has vines falling to teh floor. As you walk down the steps you crossover wooden bridges over waterfalls and fast flowing streams. cool as fuck! we actually got lost and ended up 1.5 km from the entrace.. so took a random short cut across the ruins..literally climbing old ruins covered in moss and vines, just so we could skip the epic steps we climbed up! But our time was up and we had to get back to the bus and we literally just made it coz of our sexy short cut!
So I jumped off 3km down the rd at El Panchan, and Jack, Miraka and Damian carried on to Merida, which i was gutted tosay goodbye to Mireka and Damian coz they were such an awesomecouple, but very very happy to sayggoodbye to Jack as I literally could hake the guy,and babysitting a 37 year money hunger guy is something I didn't intend on doing while traveling!... so found jungle palace, which the beautiful Simon recommended.. Oh my God this is one of my favourite places I stayed!!! it was a small wooden cabana, which and I had a double bed (such a luxury when your travelling) to myself....I had a backdoor that had a wee patio over the river, totally surrounded by jungle!! it was the most beautiful place i've stayed at! It was as tranquil as yoga commune in bali!! a smallpiece of heaven for 80peso.. that's right 4quid!!
so chillled and watched a film as soon as i arrived but with the sounds of the jungle and the movement of the stream below... fell into a snooze! god sooo soo soo good after not sleeping for 3 nights in a row!!! Woke up at 6pmand trucked on down to the local restarant and treated myself to a fat hamburer with homemade chips like my nan use to make!!(avoiding the salsa/taco/chilli after the epic mozumeoa revenage i experience throughout san cristobel) and a few beers and when i was done tookmyself to my shack... (with a few extra beers) rolled a phat one and watched the rest of the season 2 Californiacation! until i passed out!
My God!! that was the best sleep I had since trave;lling woke up at 9am to the sounds of birds crying, howling monkeys crying and the river rushing through!!! had that total "GOD it's good to be alive", so i had te whole day to bum around till 9.50pm tonight when i catch my bus to cancun!! So i check out at 11am... had breakie in this awesome restuarant roud the coner.. the typical eggs and refried beans with jamon!! totally hit the spotmake the day and to make the day even more jon bon jovi,.. they were playing the most chilled classical music  to soothe my breakfast down... from tat little mood setter i decided that coz i was so freaking tired, and felt like poo slammed against a stable door. I'd go back to Planque and revisit the ruins and spen the whole day there soaking the jungle and the runins up!
Well what a titty fucking awesome day it was... the walk to planque was beautiful, 3km of pure ass jungle with the sounds of cinematic orchestra blaring from my ipod! got to the ruins for round 2 and yes I totally appreciated it much more... I sat on topof all the temples.. took in the beautiful view of the chipas scenery..(from the top it reminded me alot of mid wales at the tipi camp i went to..just miles and miles of all different types of greenery..just this was jungle...and much more exotic!). I did an "evan wilkinson" and rocked up bya small temple ruin... sat my sexy self perched against the rock formation and started reading dorian grey by oscar wilde...before i knew it an hour and a half went by.... and i havn't even got to the bit when you go through the jungle, to see the oldruins and waterfalls!!) so slap my book shut, brushed off the enormous ants that seemed to ave taken over my ankles... and strutted down through the junle.. man it's so crazy to her the howling monkeys.. they sound like those gross things from the decent! but when you look up at ee them.. they look so cute! there was shit loadsa of lizards and big colourful pars of butterflies.. and but the one thing I loved the most where the trees! So huge so big.. with a 100 diffrent types of foliage hanging/living off it.. and crazy as it amoungst these ancient ruins! something out of tomb raider!... also the waterfalls that run through it literally just tops of the magic. So yeah.. awesome day..nowi'mwriting this all up while chilling with a beer...and awaiting my dreading 13hr overnight bus journey!..
So in the world of ying and yang to end a perfect day Ispent 8 hours in a bus station as the bus I was getting didn't show up till 3 hours later! and oviously because i was soexcited about hooking up with george in CAncun... of course the journey was gonna takelonger than 13 hours!!! at every stop it seemed to stay for and extra half hour and at playa del Carmen,a wholebunchof people decided as we were pulling off that they left theirluggage onboard!!...oh and in the morning i'm pretty sure the 18year old mexican was jerking off under his blanket next to me!! but I was to scared to look in case he i caught himin the act and couldn't move seats.. so looked at the Dubbed movie and thought ingnorace is much more of situation I could handle on this bus journey!! ha a

1.30 came and I finally got into cancun.. and low and behold the sexy George was sittin and waiting for me!!! So in regards to what I did in cancun...... pretty much no sightseeing (not that theres much sight seeing to see in the american complex that is cancun!) but I did see alot of George! alot! and basically had an awesome 6 days of smoking weed, sleeping (and the obvious), cheeky bit of "naomi" and the inbetweeners! We did also brew the beach for 2 days and I got to meet George's parents, which if is anyone knows me well, knows that's something I avoid at all costs! but you what,... his parents were absolutely lovely and totally safe as fuck (their the kind that brew a cheeky bit of glastonbury every year and are travelling around mexico with george for twoweeks!) and bless they took us out for dinner on their first night and we also had an awesome night in at george's place where me and george whipped up a storm in the kitchen and listen to george Mum's crazy stories! so that in itself was a wee adventure for me! and was gutted to say goodbye to George on the last day... but I have no doubt in my little welsh mind that I won't see that sexy boy again!! (hey if lived round the corner from me in Bow, met in Mexico City and brewed in Cancun..fates clearly playing us a good hand!)
Ilseof Myleres
So after a  rather epic a  sexual goodbye to Georgy porgy, I jumped in a cab, jumped on a boat and by 12pm I was at Isle of Myueres, finally some absolute Sunshine...and as soon as I get off the boat...bam who do i bump into....jack. I couldn't even make this shit up even if I wanted to! Also when i got to the hostel.. heared someone calling my name, who would it be but the sexy Nick!! whooo thought he would be saving me from the boring clutches of Jack, but he was leaving !!!!booo but still awesome to catch up with that kiwi boy. The hostel was pretty cool, theres not much to do on the island apart from soak up the sun and relax, so i treated it as a betty ford clinic after my dirty week with the sexy george. The hostel is right on the beach and pretty much has everything you want there, hammocks, cheap food a bar on the beach, free Yoga in the mornings and a tent to have a message in. so first day chilled on the beach, swam in the crystal blue waters, few beers and bed at 11pm... then the second day mmmmmm seemed to be one of those "just give up" Days, luckily jack fuckedoff and went diving so i thought i'd sort my life tried
Yoga osort out my credit card and was completely unsuccessful and managed to block myselfout of my account and get use allmy credit on my phone calling them... then had to buy another esta to be in transit for fucking america, emailed the embassy about my visa issue (the fact i don't have one and have been an illegal immirgrant for 2.5months!!) to get anautomated response saying they don't deal with visas...and nomore info of where i should go...thanks british consulate, nice to know theres a need for you! Then wenttogotothe beach and a downpour of tropicalrain came!!!...shouldn't have got out of bed. finally ran to beach when the sun poppedout for hours...and jackcame back moaning about howbad the diving was... I thought "great the most negative peron ever is totally gonna boost my day", so after our unsucessful, absolutely got ripped off for shitty tacos evening meal... i needed to run away from him and treated myself to a message from a rather lovely mexican male massus!ohmy god halfanhourfor 100pesos(£5). It's my first massage and fuckme it wasincredible, hepulled out all the tension from my neck to my fingers... and totally shookoff the bad day i was having, and left feeling ontop of the world and stress free. Grabbed mynetbook, a beer and a hammock and watched a cheeky bit of "whip it" the most amazing chickflick ever... and riding my happy buzz, that night i took advantage of my free drinks and meet "Che" a 37year old burner who knows Larry and builds houses so obvious a winner imybooks!! absolute Legend!! so just got wasted on gin & tonics and chatted all night to Che about burning man, we even played thumbs wars..and this funny "pulling each other over" game in the beach bar.. ha ha then when the bar closed we ranoff and climbed this huge wooden watch tower which was surrounded by barb wire...crazy what ou thinkis a good idea whenyour pissed.. and sat and talked about architecture for a few hours!!
oh yes wokeup with a killer of a hangover !

bus to tulum wit hanover!! booo got their at 3pm and the weather was shit and there wasn't much to do in the town as the ruins and beach were miles away..but the sexy george was in town... so i begged him to come entertain moi, so smoked a joint with this mexican called stefan? and ate the most sexual pad thai ever!!! then me and george went out and drank a million beers in some bean bags..then enjoyed a night in what looked like a hospital crack den!!! ha morning went to Tulum.. the most over rated ruins ever.. could walk up them...yanks cruise groups everywhere..and you have to walk around the railings...booo...but we did bump into Ryan a canadian we ended up drinking with in Oaxaca, so he tagged along when we went to the rather windy cloudy beach!! And back to the hhostel where we snuckin beer and ordered more pad thai...and the sexy george came to join us, and became our last night in Mexico, so we chilled in a hammock, cwtched and drank beer..beautiful ending to a beautiful friendshipmeow xx

The most epic horendous bus journey!!tulum-cancun-mexico city 32hours,crazy Visa issue shit!!
so this is a very emotional part ofmyblog in the way that i couldn't describe the waves of different emotions that surpassed me during this bus journey... so bein a good girl igot to tulumbus station at 8.45am to get a 2hr bus back to cancun.. to catch my 1pm 1,500 peso luxury bus to mexico city (was told i couldn't get a bus from tulum). couldn't get a bus to cancun till 10am.. so as long as there was no delays i would be okay...not only did the bus show up at 10.30am.. but the bus driver continued to stop every 15mins to let a load of mexicans off and on, so i sat for 3 hours on a bus..full of aniexty..constantly checking my watch. filling up with tears at 1pm knowing i missed my bus and so angry at the fucking shit ADO bus company... when we hit the bus station i totally missed my bus ran to the counter and lucky the women took pitty on me and booked me on the 2.30pm bus for a kid price....666pesos... so went and grabbed a quasadilla from the place george took me..then 2.30pm was on bus to Mexico city. okay iknew iwas in for a 24 hourjourney.....notonly did we end up driving through tulum!! which did not impress me,but again this bus stopped constantly...andin stead ofit being 24 hours i got into Mexicocity nortes
at 7pm the next day!! exhusted so tired from so much upright sleeping. when i got to amigo hostel in mexico luck changed... i walked in it was free food, movie night and watched the most hilarious film called "machetti" cracking taking the piss roger rodgergez action film, then treated myself to a bad boy beer and who come down the stairs,but Julia frompuerto.. caught up over a few beers, then my beautiful bed for some epic amounts of sleep and a early wake up call... from the "24 hour mission around mexico city to sort out my visa issue!!!"
Woke up at 7am... grabbe a coffee and a doughnut then onto the pack tubes to the INM (immagration offices in mexico) 9am sharp was one of the firt at the desk... only to be told that I needed to go to the airport toimmagration there... so treked to the airport.. and when i explain my story "walked over tijuana border didn't reaalise i needed to get a stamp and a card from a crazy office could tell me how to sort it out!! so i've been illegal for 2.5 monthsand flying out tommorrow and can't be delayed because i have connecting flights mexico city toLA then LA to Auckland!" well he looked at my like I was a total gringo turd, and fined me 2,228 pesos! ouch...the pat days ave been a massive blow to the budget!!! can... but it was all sorted i returned to the hostel guilt free, and then that night got pissed with Jed another burner who is apart of the caterpillar art car and some aussie whobeen travelling for 9 years writing about communismin other country good night.. got toaaly smashed for my last night in mexico.
woke up at 8am... me and jed managed to squeeze in the freida Kahol musuem and the bet taco ever in coyacucan before i left at 1pm to the airport for yet another mission of travelling...mexico city flight at 4.55pm landed LA with an addition 2 extra hour coz the time difference,hang around the airport for 4 hours tofly out by quantas at 11pm.... 13.5hour of the most beautiful flight i'd ever taken (ended up with 3 seats stretch to myself, pillows and a wine and a steak dinner, lots of sleep and films galore!!) arrived in Auckland, New Zealand at 10.30am 25th of November (lost the 24th somewhere!!) and boom i was in New Zealand baby...oh and at customs had to get my gammy tent checked by the biodiverity cutoms..sohad to wait anextra 30mins.. only to giveme backmy tent totally unfolded...and me crappy myself that they might have found drugs or some crazy shit from burning man!!! but passed wit flying colours and left to pack away my dusty tent in the  middle of the airport! gay

Sunday, 31 October 2010

Guanajuato - the budget traveller and the "Festival Internacional Cervantino"

Well what perfect timing.. popped back up north beacuse i felt guilty about not going to guanajuato and morelia as everyone screams how beautiful they are.. and fuck me.. so glad i did! First of all I am slap bang in the middle of a performing arts festival that called Festival Internacional Cervantino, which is a latin american/mexican version of our Edinburgh Festival, so it is buzzing here!! but first of all I need to express the amount ofmoney I spanked in guardalahara and mexico city, because of my encarsseration at the turtle camp,i thinkiwent a little wickie wild on the boozing and going out front...somehow coz i think its so cheap here when i'm drunk i think i'm the fricking milky bar kid and just buy everyone drinks!!

So I'm now budget traveller, eating nothing that is less than 20peso off the street.. not drinking in bars... and drinking on the hostel roof top..(which is actual quite sweet!) and some early nights and noclubbing afterwards...BUT fate has given me a sweet hand as this festival is non stop, with free theatre and music till late so all good... I have things to entertain my ADD Brain!

So today is day one and I you can't start exploring guanajuato without climbing all the way to one of the top of the mountain and taking a picture of this beautiful, silver mining town! My god, words can't described how beautiful this townis. Everybuilding is painted in the most vibrat colour, so when you get a panaormaic shot of the place it's literally looks like one of those crazy Hewitt packards adverts!!

Also there's lots of crazy tunnels that lead underground and take you to different destinations... so when walking around you have to go"deeper underground" and then reappear in another crazy part of town!! it's quite a special little place. So my first day was pretty much getting the cable up the mountain...taking a load of photos...walkng down the stepsand admiring the mexician graffiti.
I then trucked my fat ass to the Casa del Deigo Rivera (house of Diego Riveria). A steal of 20 peso,the firt floor wasn't that interestig it was just how the house was when he lived there.. looked and smelt like anold bristish victorian house.. but actually quite a wealthy one..lots of wood and lace etc... so you could tell he was quite affluent from his art. 2nd floor was amazing it started off with clearly all his early workwhen he was student and then it progressed into his later work.It fasinating, you can see why Frida was soin love with this man, he   truely was talented and vast range on his styles of painting/drawing. You could see his impressionist work when he use to hang out with picasso, using similar cubanism in his work, then there was 3 rooms dedicated to his ink and water colour of indigenious Mexico... which looksnothing like his work, to his lithographs and then to his planning pages when creating a mural! There were about 15 rooms all containing this magnitude of his range of work, which shows if you wanna make it as an artist you need to never stop drawing! the upstairs had somecrazy exhibiton about catholismin mexico in 1600's lots of scary ass pictures of San Dolareaes, which is the virgin mary and jesus being crucified,you know i normally love that stuff but this wasn't tacky and blinged to the max.. it was actaully quite scary, you could see how they used it as scare tactics!

So i checked the schedule for that night to see what was going on in the evenhilling on the rooftop sparked up a conversation with an american called Cole (I informed him that his name was very day of our lives!!ha ha) first american in mexico! But him and this Peru Girl (who i still have no idea what her name is!!) were going to this piece of theatre about the traditional african mining dance/mime from a quebec theatre group called "Bourask" - Theatre tagged along with them..and it was pretty funny and total audience participation.. with the slapping of the wellies etc...

Then went to a massive concert on the main free stage at 8.00pm which was called "canciones de la Revolucion......Revolucionadas!!"
and was amassive band playng songs fromthe 100years ago with lots of visugae footage fromthe revolution,lots of crazy B&W mexican men riding around on horses...celebrating.. well i feel ilearnt something!

So was over no...partying for me...refused going to an electro night...which was incredibly hard for me (but also cole and peru girl were kinda getting it on so i would have been mrs tag along...which is something noones wants to be!) i grit my teeth and shoved my ass to bed, with 3 hotdaogs - which again Sarah you would jizz yourself on the frankfurter front...10peso(50p) for three hotdogs...I felt like a dirty whore!

But I also fianlly got round to watching "the cove". If nobody knows what this film/documentary is about..please download and watch it! It's so incredibly sad and fucking hurrendous what the fucking japanese government is doing to slaughter of dolphins!! shocking! putting on my list of things to campaign about!

Second day as budget traveller and today is one of those days where i could not be fucked! I could be in fricking disneyland and i still couldn't be assed to go on space mountain! the one thing that sucks when your travelling is sometimes you want to do nothing!!! like all you "sane" people who work 9-5pm... you'll spend saturday or sunday just chilling in your pants..watching crap on tv... eat the content of your cupboards...but when your's hard to do that...the minute you wake up you get people in your face making you feel really guilty if you don't do anything that day... you get...."well i'm going here... i'm doing that...i've just done the most craziest shit...."....oh shut the fuck up!!!! it's hard being on a budget and not being assed to do finally after 26 years of dealing with peer pressure...I finally have found that "eminem" place where "i just don't give a fuck", feeling and actually ended up having an awesome day!!!

Coz i didn't feel the pressure of having to do something that day... i just walked around grabbed a starbucks.. and a bagel.... walked around through the tunnels...took photo's of people and then because there was two things going on that night...came back at 1pm...sat on  the rooftop androte my blog formexico city, before it became absent in my ever so deteriating brain! Cole and the peru  girl... share the most delicous salad i have ever had (havn't had veg/vitamins for a long long time) and discussed Chipas and Zapatias politics...and then american politics, which i'malways interested to hear the crazy shit the republicans do!! drank a 1.5litre bottlefbeer and met a mexican leather maker whomakes hair bands... and shared my knowlegde of working with leather as a fashion designer...he tookmy email adddress... and toldme he thought i was an 18 year gringo... but that actually "i'm a decipfully intelligent young lady"... which i think is one of the nicest things anyones said to me! ha ha

then at 8pm...shook my sexy ass to the main stage where i saw "toto la Momposina y sus Tambores" which was pure ass simple colombianmusic... I have never seen anyone use a maracca the way this one guy did!! ha ha, the druming was fucking amazing..and the ladis who were singing and dnacing literally had me for two hours..shuffling my big booty on my seat..! I amabsolutely getting obsessed with latin american dancing ...salsa, tango, marengae, that i have to do a trip to south american to learn all these dances.. so sexy and so so so much fun!

Then the penultimate a theatre performance that i have seen before and can't believe i have travelling 1000 of see it again in mexico...Yes it's anamazing french theatre/circus company called Transe Express, with a performance called "Maudits Sonnants". basically it's this awesome circus performance where the best way i can describe it is a child's mobile.. but 100,00 bigger on a crane...suspended in the air,with performers who play bells and drums on each part of the mobile, while in the middle of the crane 3 girls drop down and do some kickass trapeze and rope work 100m in the air... you wouldn't believe it until you see pictures!!
So the first thing I did when i got back was email David back at home, because i took that beautiful boy to the show his birthday (good times)...and all the sexy people at that shit was perform outside the theatre I spent 2 years slugging my ass off, for wow at the it is a small small world!

Woke up again as budget traveller...and adjusting to my new philosophy of travelling... basically chill with the still and do whatever you can be assed to do.. so woke up and suddenely was kyping my amazig friend Laura Parton...always awesome to talking to mates.. and then treated myself to twoslicesof pizza, well say treat myself.. i been living off one slice at 15pesos, for that you get a slice with a cup of coke!, so having two this morning was pushing the boat out mofo!! ha ha... then followed the crowds to one of the most craziest theatre performances i have ever seen.... OPERA IN A FOOD MARKET! - "!Opera? En el Mercado?" don't believe me look at the photos... yes fullon opera singers... singing on market stalls moving around the huge overcrowded market stalls! it was rammed and everyone was on the top balconies looking down trying to workout where the singing was coming from. It was incredible, sometimes they stand literally next to a pigs head bashing out a bit of Tosca. One of the incredible ladies belted out the classic "then take care" from Carmen selling sweets from a sweet store.. my god they did about 20 classical operatic songs...and even though they were moving in and out of market stalls, stairs and 1000's of people with camera's, they stillhit ever note! In my entire 10 years of working in theatre.. this was pure genius... and even at one point when one of the males was singing the classic song from Turandot, I had goosebumps and a wee tear in my eye... even the guy next to me was crying...clapping hystrical.."bravo"!!  ha ha
Tried to see the beautifultheatre that evan so beautift told me too, but because of the festival it was closed boooooo, so i decided that my bowls had had enough of pizza, tacos and cheap hotdog I went to the market to pick myself up some awesome veg for a salad! (like the one cole man yesturday) and 30peso later I had enough to feed the 5000! and man and awesome mushroom and onion caesar salad...and in the words of tookie, it was "delicious!" the only sad thing was that i had to throw 2/3 of it away coz there wasno-one toshare it with! meow, so with that slight feeling of loneiness...took myself to walking the streets and heading to the jazz concert... it was cool.. it was packed so had to sit on the side... and i think with my crazy nogin of "been stuckin my head for three days" started looking at all the mexicanpeople on the street hanging  out with their mates..laughing chanting etc... and got that proper.."I miss my friends" meander through the streets thinking of my mates in London, and then all my beautiful peeps i'd grown up with in on the way back I picked up a 1.5litre bottle of beer and a packet of camels menthols and sat on the roof tops and in my "where is mind?" moment thought of all the beautiful people I have left behind and was a bit sad! but one savour from grace that put a sweet smile on my face was.. as I was walking back..two young mexican boys.. stopped me on the streets..and one refused to let me pass...kept shuffling in my first I thought.."I can't be assed with a bit ofperformance art right now..!" but then his friend gave  piece of paper with a mexican poem on it and told me I was beautiful! (even tho I have bags under my eyes and carrying a dirty bags of goodies!) but for that 1 min walk to the back of the hostel... I was smiling!

Monday, 25 October 2010

Mexico City - didnt get raped, mugged or kidnapped..actually the safest place i've been!

Day 1

So met a lovely german gentleman called Gillian who was a 37 year old diver/IT guy who one day dreams of giving up the suit... and settlin in indonesia with his own diving school!!! gotta love it... so me and him both wanted to take the overnight bus to mexico city, which was agreat idea coz trying to do the cheap 6peso bus ride up there, needed gillian spanish skills as about 8 different people from guadalahara told us differnet bus stops to catch the bus to the bus station (which is like 20 miles out of the city centre - remember the aweful bus journey with the german lady eggghhhrrrrrrrccchh)
so eventually after dancing around the plazadeindependance with a fucking deadbody onmy back(my rucksack) we found the bus stop  hoppedon and within 40minof gillian telling me hislifetimeplan, we were there..booooom bobs your uncle in the mexican stylie of efficent buses 510peo later wereon a bus to mexico city... totally passedout..well i thought i was awake throughout partsof the journey due to cronic back ache of the eats..but as I got shooken up by gillian.. screaming "were here, were here shit!!" it appears with the dribble down my face and being toldi was lightly snoring means i slept the whole 7 hours!!! ha ha and we even gotin earlier..soit was 6.30am and I was in the middle of mexico city bus station! something i needed to prep for, you know as people tell you the stories of being ganged raped down the street, held by knive point for your mcdonalds, granteed to get kidnap 1 in 3 taxis!! ha ha ha

So me a gllian grabbed a coffee (he had two) and workedout our bearing on what to do, and it was easy... you had to queue in thismassive taxi line, but once you got to the front you pay the lady to what zone you wanna go to, an easy 83 peso for both of us... boom your in a cab being driven to your hostel.. and you don't get ripped off by the driver! fricking awesome! no pulling me out by my hair and cutting off my ear to be sent home to motherdear for a ransom. So easy and so safe.
Right now the other challenged i had to deal with at 7am!so the reason why i came to Mexico City is because tony and few other people told me about this awesome corona festival that was happenng that day, Pixies, temper trap, white lies, regina specktor and few more other awesome bands.. but whilst trying to catchhim throughout the few days.. the first email i got was he wasn't going coz he couldn't find a ticket, then it was were not going to go but were going to the pyramids (which was something i was well up for doing anyway) but as I got to the hostel at 7am.. and no idea where he was, or what he was doing, plus didn't want to wake the old geezer up if he had been out the night being the true independant girl that i was couldn't be assed sitting around and waiting (patience is not a virtue i possess)...though the gig would have been awesome  (seen all the bands before anyway) but probably would have raped me of about 1250peso (which i do not have as i have spanked quite alot of mola so far!!! buying a fucking camera..strippers and drinking lots with Dario was an expensive yet worthy cause) it got to 10, and met yet another german guy called Flo, what a beautiful name!! and he was well up for going to the anthropology museum and the museo of modern art!perfect as that was the reson why i was coming to mexico city... finally going to rape my brain with culture and art!! and you know what it was everything I expected it to be!

So got the metro to the chetepec park, which is like the sie of central park, and contains lots of museums and a zoo... whoo... right so to all my beautiful people in london, so this is going make you throw up in your managers office ride the metro here in mexico city... no matter how many changes or's 3 pesos a go!that's 16p to ride the metro, where it's clean efficient, had a seat everytime, and whenit's rush hour, they have a section only for women and children!! how unbelievable is that's it was soeasy to use and sometimes there were people by the maps guiding you were to go!! Also they love domino's pizza, at every station for 20 peo you could pass by a stand and pickup a small individual sized pizza! queue is always fricking huge they coz the fat mexicans love that msg shit!! ha ha so would i if all i fricking ate was tacos!!

Me and flo who is actually turnsout to be such a dude... spent 45 day chilling in Puerto esocndio... just surfing, smoking weed and watching epic amounts of the series Kalifornication (which reminds me that i have to download that...david duchovny sex girl dream) but also getting over from his epic break up with his crazy girlfriend! So bless think i was some agony aunt that day for him...but all good coz you can't be sad when you go to the zoo!! yeah.. saw some sad panda's having a poo, saw a bear that looked like he was gonna commit sucide.. but the monkey were fucking cool!! they love it... you spend most the time trying to take photo'sof those crazy basterd and like a childon ADD just kept running out of shot, swinging around on their mates testicles.. ha ha the small ones are the best.. very mischievious! so then we walked to the anthropology museum, which i hear is one of the best museums in the world, not for art but for understanding the history of mexico, and boy was that bad boy fricking huge!!!!

A cheeky 51pesos later, and we didn't know where to start, but basically to cut the story short, you go from the Aztecsin the north allthe way down to the maya'ndown south, it covers every bt of ancient mexico.. from the north to the south! it's that and as I havn't seen any of this shit yet (which is the whole reason why i'm in mexico.. is for a frieda Kahlo and Diego Rivera pilgramage,
plus all the crazy mayan/aztec history stuff) it kinda got my juices going,and was very intrigued...but after 3 hours got the classicmuseum backache and felt my brain had been exposed to many cermis pots and crazy aztec sculptures..but you lucky people  get to see all tis stuff coz i know have a camera...whoo so enjoy!

To the museo de arte moderno, which so many cultured mexican told me i'd be crazy if i didn't go to mexico city and see this place. So here i was.. a crazy 20 peso (£1) to get  okay it was no tate or guggenheim, but the one thing that i will say about mexican modern art is..... that okay I have seen more crazy avent guarde shit, but this stuff tends to come from cosmetpolitain places where artist can be exposed to all kinds of other cultures or can travel to other places (most europeans and westerner) to find inspiration for their art... it's easy to think outside the box, when you leave the box and get to soak up all kinds of ideas from other cultures. But I liked about this particuar Modern art museum is that is still very mexican. From their contempoary mexican artists they are still so proud of their hertaitage and culture that this is what is expressed through their art. The bottom floor had a permenant collection, to which I saw the actual famous freida Kalhol painting that I had admired for years "two frieda's" (little jizz in my pants) but also lots of the typical brightly coloured paintings of mexican life and people, also using traditional handicrafts made comtemporary versions of those handicrafts (if that makes sense?)but the art was very beautiful, mexican and something to definitely provoke the mind. The two exhibitions on the top floor very comtemporary that the one from a lady seemed more like an illustrated ecosystem from the national science museum, with video installations of garbage dumps..random, but the other was a cool insight of the 1970 mexicocontemporary art scene (when they started to thinkout the box) so you got lots of crazy polaroids and faces with eyes cut out stuck into the grass of someones back was cool! and again something to soak up and put in my art portfolio! the outside had lot of scupltures which attracts you down to the gift/book shop...dangerous grouds.. flo had to pull me away before my weight of my backpack tripled!

So came back to the hostel..hostel Amigo...fricking recommend this hostel to anyone... has a great bar that you could just stay there all night, shows a film from 6.30pm- 8pm and free dinner at 7pm, so grabbed the free dinner... and then spent the night in the bar gettng wasted talking to the most retarded english i've ever met! Yes typical football loving, here for two weeks to get cunted, your a fucking welsh twat (even tho they are from eastbourne!), giving you the numourous stories of when where and how they shit and piss themselveson a night out!! ha ha it's so tragic, when you meet these realised their the ones that give british people a bad name!!
Day 2

Determined in my hungover state not to waste another day, just whippedout of bed..still drunk, put my cowboy boots on as today was sunday... the day when all museums are free!!! ha ha ha so bumped into tony in the hallway, showed gillian how to catch the metro, then fucked off on my tod with just me and my Ipod. You see when you've been travelling for while just needs some me, myself and i time, and today was one of those days... "no hey were you travelling, what you doing??" nope  I was a women on a mission... I had to see as much art as I could... and man what a day... first of all I went to the bella Artes and saw all the murials, absolutely breathtaking seeing the Diego Riveria's murals that was orginally for the rockafella centre, but because of the anticapitalism statement the painting was not comissioned and he was asked to paint it in this glorious building, there were some roberto Montenegro's and 6 other mexican artists.. which as you can see are stunning and absolutely huge, you have to go across the building to look at each painting!

So one free museum... onto the museo deigo Rivera which was conviently across the Allende Park, and as it was sunday everyone was out the park with their kids... sexy partners..eating and chilling, reminded me alot of what me and my friends would do on the day of Sabbath! (meow) it was aweosme windig in and out of everyone soaking up the sunday vibes, but also stubbled across some kids break dancing so of course with my b-boy tendances had to sit and watch it all!! sick.. check this out!

Finally got to the mueseo de deigo riveria, and wellthought there would be a museum of his work, but actually it contain a few sketches butother quite alot of mexican artist that seem to make a regular appearance in most galleries i've been in, But there was some awesome contemporay art downstairs... some guy had ripped off adverts from multination companies like Mc donalds and nike Ads with it's "just do it campaign just changing the wording to highlight the capitalism of it all, and on the other side was some crazy installation made from worn down sambro's. but as you turned the corner...WWHHHAM there it was Diego's famous "Dream of a Sunday Afternoon in Alameda Park" (how awesome i saw this...on a sunday next to alameda park! was very content,and breathtaking!

Onto the ruins that Roisin told me to see... Templo Mayor but on my way back to the park..I saw a crappy photo stall that sold kodak batteries..and crappy 35mmm camera from the 90's but glaring at me... like as if my eyes were meant to see this shit... was 4 packets of 600 polaroid film (anyone who knows me knows this is gold dust in my eyes!!) just sat in the corner of his red velevet covered stall!! At first I couldn't even find the guy who own the stall.... but when he popped his small wrinkly old face out...i instantly started bartering...and this dude knew his spanish I could understand he was saying it was discontinued..worth lots of money... so the film was 150peso a packet... i tried my hardest to barter 200 for 2, but i got a bargin at 250 peso for 2... which is £12 back in ye old english pounds.. and on ebay that shit is selling £20 a pop!! so yes..bargin at my end.. and skipped off chuffed to bits to my next destination!!

Templo  Mayor ruins is right next to the epic Catherdral in Zocalo.Now the crazy thing about this is when the greedy spanish invaded mexico city, they destroyed all the aztec temples and built this magnificent catherdral to stake their land... and how karma has repaid them, a you can see that one sideof the catherdralis sunken down into the ground! ut its crazy beacuse only 90 years ago did they discover that temple Mayor ruins were literally  buried under the national building next to the catherdral, so they have only just discovered it,and are still discovering this amazing site ( the archiogolists were on the site excavating as we were going around), so I had to pay for this bad boy,but felt I should as the money is probably going to help the excavtation..and bloody hell you get your moneys worth...christ it's deceptively huge!!! it's incredible to walk around and discover what all the chambers were used for... and then there's the museum which you need at least 1 1/2 hours of your time! One part of the museum is deadicated to Moctezuma II who was the aztec leader who welcomed the spanish was then kept captive and killed by the spanish as they claimed the city for themselves...(i'll say it again white people are fucking greedy scum!!) but some of the aztec jewellery and art is phenomenal, the headpieces with the feathers are huge!! after strolling around following the signs tow which part of the museum i had to go that i had been i there for nearly 3 hours... and suddenly,like out of nowhere i got a bad case of dehydration sporting on and the realisation i'd been walking around for 7 hour with no fricking drinkso in a desparate atempt to leave the museum..i fricking couldn't find the way out!!! aaahh it was fucking scary every turn i did became a dead end or back trackedto where i was before this point i started freaking out, felt like that 4year old kid lost in marks and spencers and can't find your mum!!! after half an hour I found the exit...somedickhead decided to block off the orginal exit (to allthe signs i was following) and we had to exit out of this crazy wooden door.. which I would not have spotted if it was for a fat mexican lady trying to squeeze through it!!! pphhew I was out and had to scout pacelike 500muntil i was actually out of the ruins!!! ha ha ran to a street stall and downed alitre of water and sat down for hal anhour to get my vision back !! can, won't be doing that again!!

So strolling back to hostel through this huge book fair that was happening in the plaza of the zocola catherdral... and what do my beautiful ear phat bass...yes mexican ska!!! whoooooo  so spent the next hour chilling and stomping my booty discreetly to a cool bit of mexican ska!!

what a great way to end a beautiful gay day!....also on the way back tothe hostel, went into the most amazing bakery/confectionary shop that had crazy jelly day of the dead stuff with the sugar skulls..and shit loadsa of pastries and bread..just see the pictures!!

Finally headed back to the hostel....walked straight into the free food.. then got to my room to chill and random the lights were finally onsoi could actually see who the fuck was sleeping in my 10 mixed dorm (i knew it was all boys coz all you could smell was lynx and beer!!)...stood there was a cute little english boy with a lost prophets tattoo on his back!!! ha ha sosparked paconversation as i had spent the whole day in solitude..i kinda felt i was ready to speak to people again! so turns out this guy is from chippenham...and lived literally 10mins away from me in bow, bloody roman road!! small world my friend! He was one of the lucky fuckers who went to the concert and had free tickets coz he knew Delphic the band... but awesomely was living in cancun as a diver instructor, but his fellow mates john (canadian) and simon (german) all flew in to meet him and brew the gig i regret not going to!.... these guys were cool as fuck...talked about racing eachother to the teotihuacan (they were taking a ridiculously overpriced tour) me and simon were gonna be hardcore and do the metro and a bus...and as the night kicked in so did our hangovers... and as there was no other fucker apart from us 4 in the 10 hostel..we pulled that mattress off one of the bunk beds.. all cwtched (means snuggle in welsh) round my netbook and watched the universally loved, universally quoted..Anchorman!! ha ha with ice cream and a massive bottle of fresca...i couldhave actually been 19 again and in uni!

Day 3 - Teotihuacan

So gave everyone my beautiful 8am wake up call (there was no fricking windows in the hostel so you could literally could sleep in and loose concept of time) first and only time i grabbed breakfast there! Me and simon scooted our little butts out the door on our mission to teotihuacan dreading rush hour on the metro... but have no idea what the feck was going on cozthere was absolutely no-one on the tube...easy peasy lemon squeezy mate... and in the jizst of a limon after 2 changes was at terminal norte and on a bus to teotihuacan! right sowe blantly won as it was 12.30pm and no sign of the guys!! Me and simon...started treking over ruin after ruin to reach the sun pyramid... so we can get our thight masters as the ready to climb that bad boy!!! this is how big it.. no idea how many steps.. just alot...and very steep!

At one point the 19 year old Simon ran up the last two sectionsof the pyramid like a fucking labrador puppy...while gwen, the 26 year old smoker and heavy drinker chuffed my last breaths to the top.. man it was awesome.. has that creepy pompei feel to it as if you can kinda imagine what this city was like when the aztecs ruled it. so climbed down that bad boy while laughing at how ridulous some western tourist can be!! me & simon wer doning the classictravller attire.. tshirt that has been worn for 3days in a row, shorts... and flip and mola in pockets...well i had my sexy bag rhiaro gave me...! but still you get the casualimage... ha ha so these dickheads and there were many of them, were wearing the sort of gear you'd wear fricking climbing machu pichu!! full on walking boots... t-shirts around the head..sun block on the nose..rucksacks that hold 50litres of what I may add?? ha ha seriuosly you'd think they were ready to climb everst! me and simon pissedourselves as they were all from our nations...germany and england! shame people!

So we tackled the moon pyramid which you can only go half way up but has the best view of the city. then we trucked our assesover to the muesum and we were done... 2.5hours at teotihuacan and your done..there's not alot of information to tell you about the city and allthe ruins.. but you can st and appricate how these people (the aztecs) were building and designing buildings with such precisions totheir beliefs, like the steps are the days of the calendar, the position of the sun templein realtion to the moon temple, the slanted temples and buildings of the city were all designed so that the rain water streams back into the river...oh and i'm sorry what were the brits in mud huts and eating potatoes. Really blows your mind the level of civilation these people had!

Me and Simon had all the time in the world to whip back and maybe squeeze in another tourist visitaion!!so we headedtowhat we thought was this cool market george and john wentotwhere they soldlion meat and all kindsof crazy food, but infact it was a mexican handicraft market, which waspretty cool to peruse,simon bought a wooly jumper...and also had to pull me away from the vintage magazine stall to which would have double the weight of my rucksack so thank you simon for that.. ( they have vintage mexican gay porn, which mostly included german aryen men with their penis's out and some late 80's playboys....also some crazy italian 1990's fashion mags!! meow!) but we also we found a kick ass taco stand that had the best tacos.. you could have thinly fried steak, this chicken stuff, chorizo, brocoli and egg fritta's and an array of sauces to smoother that shit in...also if you had the chicken or steak.. they put homemade chips in it...they were exactly how my nan use to make them... mmm the best taco i had (although with all the chilli i had to take 2 doses of bascopen that night to compensate the delicousness!)

So that night we  were on it like sonic on the booze again...lots of 50 peso beer 1.2lt beers....2 4 1 barcardi and coke... and gathering of peoplefrom the hostel and a taxi ride to some place i have no omekick ass cocktail bar that my budget couldn't stretch to so stayed on the beer!! so it was one of those nights...where we were clearly out for 6 hours or so but the only thing i could remember (in a kinda drunken Gwen's kronenberg way) was being in a huddle with some aussie... only to realise it was the lead singer of temper trap, (who were touring with pixies at that gig!!) doing kath and kim impressions with the ozzy (i gotta stop doing that!!) argueing with two fucking banker twats from London about how they could their jobs, and doing the most lame salsa dancing with george in an irish bar to which i'm pretty sure it was to some rock classsics,then sitting on the steps, salivating over george airforce one Nike ID's while he ate a hot dog!! taxi ride back and a bottle of water next to me... and it made for an interesting night to say the least!! ha ha

Day 4 - last day in mexico city... well should have left by now!!

So was meant to leave that day but ended up being coaxed by the lovely George to go to the canals with him and john..... and I actually heard this place was meant to be kick ass... so thought why the hell not! well i wouldn't advise with the hurendous hangover I had to mission it to the Xochimilco lakes where these awesome canals and hanging gardens were! So we had to take a metro to the end of the line, then a train to the end of the line, and then a taxi to the canals... so2 hours later..heart pulatations and fucking meat sweta fromthe dirty mcdonalds we hunted out before we left... we were here.. whoo George bargin the geezer on the boat for 2 hours on the boat... for 300 pesos...sweet.. so we grabbed some beers... got our sweet asses on these big canal boats that are painted in flouresencent paint..(see sexy picture) while a big fat mexicanguy pushed us up the canals with his big massive wooden stick (he let us have a goand i totally sucked at it's actually hard work)..we cruised lay in the sun,smoked fags and drank morebeer...and randomly stopped of at some guys reconstructed snake farm... where if you pay 45 pesos you can have your picture taken with the snakes.. totally tourist trap we fell into... but absolutely hilarious at the same day... man that day was a chilled and ear to ear smiling day, as we glance on the other boast ofmexicans friends and families partying hard on the boats with their homemade mexican picnics and endless supplies of alcohol, cheering at us "hair of the dog" westerns sucking it all in! those boats would be serioulsy kickass for someones hen or stag do.. and dirt cheap as they hold like 15 of you!!!
So to end the awesome day after the epic journey, george and john got a dirty domino's delivered to our dorm! while we crashed out to empire records and the new series of the inbetweeners....fricking heaven! good times my friend!

Day 5 - Mexico city mission to guanajauto
Fianlly left mexico city after trying to sneakout of the hostel without paying the extra night and didn;t succeed! but was on a 5 hour bus back up to Guanajuato and when i got there... had a packet of crisps and bought two massive cans of sol...and checked into my hostel...which perfectly I was the only one in my 4 bed dorm and had an actual real bed!!! luxurary as i wrapped the duvet around me and drank my beer while watching "the mist", just needed a crap film to comfortably numb my brain....but can i just say...what an ending! didn't see that coming but very Stephen King!