Sunday, 12 December 2010

Oaxaca, Puerto Escondio, San Christo..Palenque dirty dirty Cancun and 32hour bus journey, and visa Penalty!

So what can i say about Oaxaca?.. everything that is mexican is in Oaxaca. Up in the mountains, scorching sun,coloursgalore, traditional mexican food like Mole (chocolate chilli thing) lots of people in traditional dress, and look more indigenous.  Oaxaca and Chipas are what is true Mexico and the best place for tamales!! 2100km in the mountains..high altitude, hot hot sun bleaming the crapout of you.. markets glaore and a true sense of mexican art and tradition.
So I arrived unexpectly due to my confusion about the morelia buses, (there was one at 7.30am from Guanahuato) Soi thought's fate lets get my sexy ass to Oaxaca!  good choice!

After a 6 hour bus journey to MexicoCity, Metro-ing it from the terminal Norte (north) to the Terminal TAPO (south), then 7 hour bus to Oaxaca intothe hostel at 1am... but just me... on my own in a 6 man room!! beauty caught up on some much needed "rest"!
Did literally 6 one day, the town is full of small art galleries... which finally are fucking awesome! somegood contemporary art, and prints.
my favourite was the fotograifia- was an awesome free gallery, had 3 rooms with old skool black and white mexican 1900 porn, anyone who knows me knows I love that shit! also some awesome "helmut Newton-estque" photography of local mexican people of Oaxaca. Also went to a private Viewing of an opening exhibition in the Graphia gallery,anythng for a free glass of wine and some sick Lithography and screenprints.

the whole town was gearing up for Day of the dead! it was incredible, you couldn't walkanywhere without seeing multicoloured skeletons, sugar iced skulls with sequin eyes, the brightly coloured paper tissued bunting, Life size paper mache skeletons hanging from shop doors and sand sculpting painted dias de Muertes. crazy stuff.. they even had these special loaves of bread where they stick these wax lady faces in it!

Went to the mont alban ruins... They are a zepitec ruins so ticked that box.
Met Jack, ed, and dave. Ed and Dave pure ass bristolian, who love tits, booze, football, and Alcapoco, theyre were so fucking funny! went out on the piss with them, and a canadian called Ryan, drank Mascal for the first time, it's like tequilla sister, and woke up with a crappy hangover for Monte Alban...and had heart pulpatations while climbing all the steps!
Ate at the market place all didn't have a clue how to order... it was literally a whole alley of Stalls with just shit loads meat hanging... but onmy first time round just got this crazy dish which was a whole Tortilla which was covered in fried beans chicken tomato, Avocado and the creme de la creme Oaxaca Cheese!! HHHmmmmm so goood. But second time round I took the boys... and we order a trough load of meat, steak, a whole skpping rope of Chorizo , and picante marinated pork!! it was a exican version of Happy hour at Harvester! ha ha

After the heart pulpatation in monte alban, we brewed the epic market and bought loadsa amazing food we cooked an amazing feast at thhe hostelfor all of us!
I heard some crazy singing coming from the church in the Zocolo So I cheekily snuck in to see what hte crack was. The whole fricking place was completely covered in orchids, and they were doing this crazy ruital where they were moving of the jesus/ was fucking awesome... there was crazy aount of mexican old ladies crying and singing..all holding those glass candels with pictures of jesus on it! and they Priest swang the smoking things they guys with rubber gloves picked up the statue and moved it through the church, te congration where all reaching out to touch it,some crazy old lade were kissing it and preying at it! it a pretty fucking awesome thing to be a part of! 

Took the most epic whinding mini bus ride from Oaxaca down to puerto Escondio....spent the whole of the 8 hours wanting to be sick on myself!

Puerto Escondio
Puerto Escondio was MY FAVOURITE PLACE in mexico, and Tower bridge hostel was fucking awesome and for a week hung out with some awesome peeps
Tez an 40yr old West countryier who was like a teddy bear, Mark the hottest Canadian I've ever met who surfs and rides a motorbike (he IS Micheal from Grease 2!!!), Courtney the first safe a s fuck girl that I have met in mexico from Melbourne, Mick typically OZ geezer from Sydney who thought I was an actual Ginga!! Bill, yet another HOT Aussie, jack my fellow sheep, crazy ass owner steve who constantly just walks into the girls dorm for seminaked hug!! and cleans his dogin the pool! clearly suffers from Adult ADD, Julia another cool chick from brit! Anna who wasinlove with Julio and never left Puerto and of course dip shit the disslocated cat that I stepped on! Then theres the people who work there who are safe a fuck tabitha and her hot wake boarding boyfriend (one for the spankbank), carlo and her dreadlocked boyfriend, and damian and mirika from OZ.
First of all thisplace was awesome, Widescreen TV outide,pool...the gammiest kitchen ever, pool table and totally access to the Hi-fi! many nights were spent smoking weed and watching Law and Order. There's 3 beaches, Zigatela whch is a surf beach and you can't swimin that bad boy!, Manazillo which I went once coz it's night wt that great, but Carazillo was right where the hostel was and it was a fucking heaven!! we'd all go down there togethere and just chill with the still!

Second night was toga party, so we all whipped out our bed sheets from our beds,and from4 years of art school managed to whip up from steve fucking garden!! ha ha that night was very messy and a drunken night...saw nick there ... talk to some dude for an hour about how i was gonna do orphange work in mexico errr no... and broke into one of the double bedroom upstairs for to Explore wat aussie football rules are!!!ha ha
The night after that was halloween, whoo spent like 3 hours trawling the market tofind anything  that resembled face paint!! And randomly ended up buy pick a mix fireworks with Mick and Jack! Ha ha alsohad the balls to eat Chipilmas (chilli spiced insects) which were everywhere in Oaxaca market...fucking so gross coz i didnt pulloff the legs...and actually tasted like like a fishy Vag!! So practically face painted up the wholeof the hostel...mark dressed up as a transexual ggranny mexican wrestler and handing out candy to all the kids!!!! possibly the funniest thing I'dseenall week! So went to find the halloween party in Zigeltela and failedmiserably...but we'd drank somuchin the hostel and then tookto the beach with somecheeky cans... randdomly ended up at the most amazing restaurant which was cheapas chips and did the most incredible tacos... so have awhole family meal at like 2am..!! so funny!
Then NOvember the 2nd came... YES it was DAY OF THE DEAD!! The security lady who did everything at the hostel, who lived in a shack at the endof the road, had this incredible shrine, completely cover in orange marigolds andon the table were pictures of family members and their favourite foods and beautiful. But THIS was the day... that me and Mickgot our MExican Skull tattoos...on the day of the dead... so appropriate!!.. I literally was so happy I literally had to stop myself pooing my pants I was that excited... So tookone last dipin the sea, and 6pmrolled up and everyone camedown with us to get it!!! Raul jut needed to copy my design but he drew the most sick ass B&W mexican skull for mick!! So I went first coz the excitment was whey to much for me!!! Raul was fricking awesome... didnt hurt at all (only the last line that scraped across my achilles heel!! fuck me that hurt!) but was over in an hour!! Blesscourtney She was continuly chatting shit to me so I wouldn't notice what was going on! ha ha...Soit was Mick turnsin the chair.... tink the place he had that bad boy hurt fricking shit loadsa so it was our job to ply him with beer and lollypops while he swallowed that teaspoon of concrete! ha ha I did spendalot of that time prancing around with my tat, chating to Rauls surfer mate!! whoo that night me and courtney got wasted with the mexican guys anna was hanging out wth,which ended up being at 2 house partys in these ick aprtments that lookover zigatela beach...goodnight man... finihed the evening drunkley cooking up a feast in the kkitchen with stolen foodfrom the fridge!! ha ha and watching the fucking ants trawl a twoway systemup the fridge!!! gammy!(little did we know two days later we get food poisioning from the gammy chorizo we stole! KARMA!)

Bought a beautiful bag of weed foronly 200peso which literally lasted my through Puerto all the way to Cancun there was that much!! nothing beats a joint on the beach and a beautiful rolled 3 skin Biffter in the evening which a massive bag of potato chips(or as Mark refers to them as tree trunks)
On my last night it was 'salsa night' at Congo! At that point about 20 annoying american invaded the hostel with their beer pong!! can they not! but it was an awesome night..we stayed in the hostel till 12am just blaring some 80's 90's classics,smoking drinking and playing pool!, I managed to convince the boys to come out Salsa dancing...and fair play to me and mark, we drunkly totally rocked the dance floor! ha ha people were literally moving out our way coz i think we were carnagly bombarding people with our drunken salsa moves!..also oneof the mexican guys who I met the other night whos a pro salsa dacer said he teach me somemoves...but dude this guy was so strict and sucked all the fun out of it!! Much more fun doing it drunk with another drunkern falling all over the place!! ha ha.. rescued one of the Americans froman embryo and on the way to the taxi met a "rather english gentleman who own a yaught and laughed in the poor guys face at how posh he was. Hilarious
So spent the last day on the beach... and at 9pm.. it was time to leave sexy Puerto!! I actually was so had that horrible sinking gut thing because i didn;t want to go!!

It's crazy coz everyone says that when you go travelling you meet people you never wanna leave, and that's what happened in puerto, Courtney who was safe as fuck and was on my meet many girl when travelling who just because u both have a vag, doesn't mean we have the same sense of humour.. and actually sad to say but most girls I've met travelling Mexico are true penis's, but not Courtney.Mick was the dude who had the balls to get a tatt with moi. Bill was only a round for two days but was party boy from jackass, and then there was Mark the man who stole a piece of my heart! No longer will I drunkly spill my G&T and argue, with friends that there is no perfect man, beacuse I believe I met him very briefly in Puerto Escondio!! And all the staff there were cool as fuck and I WILL go back to Puerto and spend at least a month there!!! I guess I so badly wanted to stayed because of the friendships I had made, but that's the tough thing about travelling is that you pick experience over friendship! you have this little man inside you that keeps tuging on your gut string to remind you that you don't want to miss out on the rest of your travels...and i knew i had so much of mexico to see and timewas running out!! but this was the first time since I started travelling that I was so gutted to be leaving! literally smoked like 3 cigerettes on the bus stop epically debating about sacking off the bus!!eekkk can! Also didn't help that as I boarded the bus....tarted getting pains in te old stomach (courtey that day was literally helded up in bed with the worst stomach pains that even Bascopan could sort out!!) So oh yes the Stolen Chorizo fricking took it revenge on me, on a 13 hour night bus to San Christobel!! Was not Pretty, and slightly emotional havig to listen to JAck snore throughout the whole experience!!

San Cristobel & Palenque
So as soon as we arrived at San christobel... I stepoff the bus.. and instantly wanted to go back to Puerto..It was grey misty and Fucking cold!!! I had to crackout the hoodie, leater jacket....beanie and I was still cold! San Christobel is the hub of Chipas, which where you will find true indiginous/mayan mexicans wearing felted black shalls, babies wrapped arounnd their mothers in shawls, small tiny cobbled streets in the mountains about 2300ft Above sea level!
So as soon as we got to hostel I had to bail because I was so ill... I managed to chill for a good 5 hours and wasonly sick once!! But by 1pm..I realised the cold frsh mountain air made me feelsomuch better so it was Me, Jack (surprise!) Mirika and Damian a cool Ausie couple from Melbourne who saved me fromJAck continous dead pan talks of Politics and econmics!! So the lush thing about San Christobel is that it has a full on Cafe/bar culture, like the lanes in brighton. So we went to a coffee shop to warm our mittens up...then as we tried to find a travel agent for our horse riding adventure we stopped off at yet another cafe to brew a hot espanade (which is basically amexican pasty!! dirty) and hot chocolate... which is a mixture of amazingly brewed chocolate, hot milk, cinnemon,chilli and nutmeg!!hhhhhmmmmmmmmmm...booked our bad boy trip for a scorcher of 130pesos then hit the Museum of mayan medicine. hmmmmmm wasn't as amazing as the old Lonely Planet said it was...but i did watch an interest vido about Midwives in the Chipas villages.. where they do these crazy ruitals of rotating bottles ofpepsi, and a frigging Axe around the women in labour... and burry the placenta upwards for a boy, downwards for a girl in the next pregancy... I actually heaved seeing someone burst the membrane of a placeta releasing all the gibs out!! (eerrrggghh can't beliee people eat that shit!!) something someone with foodpoising should not see!!!..
So we went backto the cold crap hostel I crawled into bed and attempted to sleep...but just endedup hearing a dirty 60year old mexicanin doubledenim...snoring his ass offall night!!sad times!
So didn't need the alarm to wake meup at 7.30am... to get ready for our horse riding extravaganza, wokeup mireka and Damian andon  todded off for a dirty whch for the first timin mexico i have Ranchos Heravo, which is fried eggs on a soggy tortilla drenched in a tomato marinana sauce sounds disgusting but actually does the job...and by 9am we were in the back of a truck with another 6 lost hopefuls heading for the hills to find our horses!! ha ha after 20mins of waiting on a dirt track... the gammmy horses came around the cornnere .. all 10 of them, lead by two scruffy mexicans, who you can tell, hates doing this everyday!!! ha ha, so I avoided making eye cotacted with the guys so i didn't get the crazy white horse that seemed to be frothing at the mouth, you knew if you mounted that bad boy you'd end up like christopher reeves! But I amazing got this beautiful Caramel horse, exactly the kind of horse I wanted when I 10. So did what I do best and mounted that sexy beast and guy tried to explain to the guy that my stirups were too long.. so he adjusted them but with my short stubby welsh leg they didn't help much, so I guess holding on is the best option! so we started off...and it been a while since I horse rode... so it took me some time to get use to the horse, but after 10min I realised I had a beauty... she was totally up for going up front... and occasionally fancied a wee trot! so we named my bad boy horse speedy gonazalist. So we treked for like 2 hours up through the was waded through mud that was like half a meter deep...and through the woods and massive rock formations where the poor horses were literally couldn't work out where to put their feet, we then trotted through some villages where at one point with the misty clouds arounds us, and a swarm of black sheep than ran between our horses legs I actually thought i was in Wales agains!! ha ha but we finally reached the mayan village of Chaumala. This viallage is a true mayan viallage where the church in the middle of the town,from the outside lookslike a spanish catholic church, but really when you go inside they are practicing maywean religion.... they even named all their gods so that they matched them to catholicism saints, so under spanish rule,  so that the spanish thought they were practising their chosen religion! The village was had a errie indiana feel to it, we went to the market and just walking around you feel like such an outsider and everyones looking at you... your not aloud to take potos out of respect for the village so your just walking around as pure's a wee bit vogueristic. so after our hour and a half was up...we treked back to our scatty horses. Mounted Speedy Gongalez and literally while i wasn Chumala the horse have been snorting crack coz she literally started bombing it down road.... and when we got  to amassiveopen sapceigave her a wee kick so that we could canton....but fuck me she went into full gallop! With the saggiest stirrups  didn't helpmuch i did my best to ride with it... and it was fucking awesome.. we evensped through the woods dodging  ducking and diving out of the branches way..seriously scary but totally awesome...she started to chill once we hit the rocks and we managed to do most of the walk by the time we stopped...but that was something to definitely remember. Also as we travelled through I could see a few zapaista which were around the road leading up to chumula, but i never got to go a zapatisa village, but Ryan who we catch up with in Tulum did and showed me the photos of them with their balaclavas and their amazing graffti/murial of their propaganda. So fucking cool.
We were done by 2pm...sowe decided to go walk up the epic amounts of steps... to the top of church in San cristobel...was an epic climb..but a cool vew of te city... but the church...well you seen one you seen them fucking all!

We then discovered a small little tapas bar with a open fire that served only wine from around south America and everytime you ordered a glass, you got a free plate of tapas! So the constigncy plan was that the more wine we drank the more food we'd get. well by 5pm I was shit faced! I gave up after 5 large glasses of wine.. Jack, Mireka and Damian had one more and I than me,and that's when the fun began!So we were all whey too pissed for 7pm! we headed back to the hostel... to drnk a wee bit more, and for me to smoke myself out of the drunkness... so rolled a nice fat one, and damian give me someof his sexy wine and we played this weird card game that made us learn spanish number (Damian and Mireka did spanish lessons in Oaxaca) funny how jack kept losing, beacuse he actually couldn't eve grasp "UNO"!!! But anyway as we kept drinking I realised that Mireka was absolutely wasted, and she started whipping out some classics "I don't know how to smoke weed, coz only poor people smoke weed" she was definitely siht faced... so we decided to go outside as there was music blasting from the square...It was cool as fuck... there lots of old mexicans salasing to a brass band... of course due to my newfound love of salsing got stuck in...I becameadopted by thislovely 68year oldman with his sexy 50year old"companionn" who for 50years old could move her feet quicker than mine...and she showed me how to megrigane, salsa...and someother crazy dancing that involved shuffling my feet at 60mph!! jackattepted to join in but just looked like a typical drunken manc..dancing at someones golden anniversary!! absolute can! but the band started to play jive soI felt as a westerner... to teach my sexy old lady friend some moves.. ha ha so for 4 whole minutes was spinning a middle aged women in reebok trainers around the plaza!! ha ha! by this point Damina and Mirka were having a wee Barney and at one point involvedme chasing Mirika down the road into traffic!! me being stoned.. fell through atfer a minute due to the complexity of dodging cars while intoxicated!! Damian reappeared and there was a funny moment in that night when himand mirika were having a heart to heart (obviously mirika being absolutely wasted was talking more and my job was to sit nest to damian and inbetween talks to mireka...feeding himajoint throughout the indepth conversation... very funny moment... and if the night couldn't get any more random... I rejoined my old granny bumchums... and when the band stopped playing... me and jack won the dancing comptetion!! WTF yes I won a goodie bag of a laydle and a tea towel! ( obviously putting me in my place!!) and clearly JAck with his twoleft feet won out ofpitty for the white guy truffle shuffling to some salsa! Man and he didn't shut the fuck up about it!!! ggrrrrr. But beacuse I felt so bad and the fact that I don't need a laydalor tea towel I gave my prize up to the sexy lady who taught me how to dance!! and for thet the old guy offered mte to stay with him in San christobel for 3 months...I declined sadly.. not without a fucking electric blanket mate.. oh and when we won the award Jack made a total penis out of himself and did a fucking english speech like "i'd like to thank my parents blahblah blah" to which all the mexicans looked so confused, and thanksfully with my little spanish I knew recovered from the turdy social situation and thanked them in spanish! what a Penis! went to bed at 1pm...only to be woken up at 5.30am... to get on the bus to planenque!! boooooooooooo why doi never remember rulenumber 1...don't get shit faced when the next day you have an epc journey!!!!
So woke up at 5.30am!! got pick up in a tiny mini bus and embarked on yet another windy journey! Somuch so that poor mireka filled a whole crisp bag full of red wine puke!! even I had to old down my eggs and refried bean breakfast the journey was that bad,in fact weven the huge mexican guy next to me was heavy breathing coz it looked like he was gonna blow chunks!! eerr but after 4 hours we hit Agua Azul which are beautiful waterfalls...they are meant to be bright blue.. but typical because it was raining it was a murky brown! but it was so beautiful to see how powerful they are and to be out in fresh air and walking up to the top of the falls was so beautiful!....Thnen another 2 hours to mis ho waterfall which was incredible.. on massive long waterfall that you could walk underneath... so me and Mireka..! went right behind being te girls that we were.. tookit one step further.. went under them and across where we got completely soaked... but the view was awesome!! Back on the bus and to the only ruins I have been jizzing myself over "Planaque!"
So we got to palenque and was told we only had 2 hours boooo! Planaque are these incredible mayan ruins right in the heart of the chipas can walk around  them,on top of them, it's the only ruins I got a true essence of ancient mayan culture. And the setting is magnificent you can walk up to the top of the temples and see across the whole of the jungle, the second part of the palenque you literally walk through the jungle and you can see and hear the howler monkeys screeching. It's looks totally like Indiana Jones with the huge towering trees that has vines falling to teh floor. As you walk down the steps you crossover wooden bridges over waterfalls and fast flowing streams. cool as fuck! we actually got lost and ended up 1.5 km from the entrace.. so took a random short cut across the ruins..literally climbing old ruins covered in moss and vines, just so we could skip the epic steps we climbed up! But our time was up and we had to get back to the bus and we literally just made it coz of our sexy short cut!
So I jumped off 3km down the rd at El Panchan, and Jack, Miraka and Damian carried on to Merida, which i was gutted tosay goodbye to Mireka and Damian coz they were such an awesomecouple, but very very happy to sayggoodbye to Jack as I literally could hake the guy,and babysitting a 37 year money hunger guy is something I didn't intend on doing while traveling!... so found jungle palace, which the beautiful Simon recommended.. Oh my God this is one of my favourite places I stayed!!! it was a small wooden cabana, which and I had a double bed (such a luxury when your travelling) to myself....I had a backdoor that had a wee patio over the river, totally surrounded by jungle!! it was the most beautiful place i've stayed at! It was as tranquil as yoga commune in bali!! a smallpiece of heaven for 80peso.. that's right 4quid!!
so chillled and watched a film as soon as i arrived but with the sounds of the jungle and the movement of the stream below... fell into a snooze! god sooo soo soo good after not sleeping for 3 nights in a row!!! Woke up at 6pmand trucked on down to the local restarant and treated myself to a fat hamburer with homemade chips like my nan use to make!!(avoiding the salsa/taco/chilli after the epic mozumeoa revenage i experience throughout san cristobel) and a few beers and when i was done tookmyself to my shack... (with a few extra beers) rolled a phat one and watched the rest of the season 2 Californiacation! until i passed out!
My God!! that was the best sleep I had since trave;lling woke up at 9am to the sounds of birds crying, howling monkeys crying and the river rushing through!!! had that total "GOD it's good to be alive", so i had te whole day to bum around till 9.50pm tonight when i catch my bus to cancun!! So i check out at 11am... had breakie in this awesome restuarant roud the coner.. the typical eggs and refried beans with jamon!! totally hit the spotmake the day and to make the day even more jon bon jovi,.. they were playing the most chilled classical music  to soothe my breakfast down... from tat little mood setter i decided that coz i was so freaking tired, and felt like poo slammed against a stable door. I'd go back to Planque and revisit the ruins and spen the whole day there soaking the jungle and the runins up!
Well what a titty fucking awesome day it was... the walk to planque was beautiful, 3km of pure ass jungle with the sounds of cinematic orchestra blaring from my ipod! got to the ruins for round 2 and yes I totally appreciated it much more... I sat on topof all the temples.. took in the beautiful view of the chipas scenery..(from the top it reminded me alot of mid wales at the tipi camp i went to..just miles and miles of all different types of greenery..just this was jungle...and much more exotic!). I did an "evan wilkinson" and rocked up bya small temple ruin... sat my sexy self perched against the rock formation and started reading dorian grey by oscar wilde...before i knew it an hour and a half went by.... and i havn't even got to the bit when you go through the jungle, to see the oldruins and waterfalls!!) so slap my book shut, brushed off the enormous ants that seemed to ave taken over my ankles... and strutted down through the junle.. man it's so crazy to her the howling monkeys.. they sound like those gross things from the decent! but when you look up at ee them.. they look so cute! there was shit loadsa of lizards and big colourful pars of butterflies.. and but the one thing I loved the most where the trees! So huge so big.. with a 100 diffrent types of foliage hanging/living off it.. and crazy as it amoungst these ancient ruins! something out of tomb raider!... also the waterfalls that run through it literally just tops of the magic. So yeah.. awesome day..nowi'mwriting this all up while chilling with a beer...and awaiting my dreading 13hr overnight bus journey!..
So in the world of ying and yang to end a perfect day Ispent 8 hours in a bus station as the bus I was getting didn't show up till 3 hours later! and oviously because i was soexcited about hooking up with george in CAncun... of course the journey was gonna takelonger than 13 hours!!! at every stop it seemed to stay for and extra half hour and at playa del Carmen,a wholebunchof people decided as we were pulling off that they left theirluggage onboard!!...oh and in the morning i'm pretty sure the 18year old mexican was jerking off under his blanket next to me!! but I was to scared to look in case he i caught himin the act and couldn't move seats.. so looked at the Dubbed movie and thought ingnorace is much more of situation I could handle on this bus journey!! ha a

1.30 came and I finally got into cancun.. and low and behold the sexy George was sittin and waiting for me!!! So in regards to what I did in cancun...... pretty much no sightseeing (not that theres much sight seeing to see in the american complex that is cancun!) but I did see alot of George! alot! and basically had an awesome 6 days of smoking weed, sleeping (and the obvious), cheeky bit of "naomi" and the inbetweeners! We did also brew the beach for 2 days and I got to meet George's parents, which if is anyone knows me well, knows that's something I avoid at all costs! but you what,... his parents were absolutely lovely and totally safe as fuck (their the kind that brew a cheeky bit of glastonbury every year and are travelling around mexico with george for twoweeks!) and bless they took us out for dinner on their first night and we also had an awesome night in at george's place where me and george whipped up a storm in the kitchen and listen to george Mum's crazy stories! so that in itself was a wee adventure for me! and was gutted to say goodbye to George on the last day... but I have no doubt in my little welsh mind that I won't see that sexy boy again!! (hey if lived round the corner from me in Bow, met in Mexico City and brewed in Cancun..fates clearly playing us a good hand!)
Ilseof Myleres
So after a  rather epic a  sexual goodbye to Georgy porgy, I jumped in a cab, jumped on a boat and by 12pm I was at Isle of Myueres, finally some absolute Sunshine...and as soon as I get off the boat...bam who do i bump into....jack. I couldn't even make this shit up even if I wanted to! Also when i got to the hostel.. heared someone calling my name, who would it be but the sexy Nick!! whooo thought he would be saving me from the boring clutches of Jack, but he was leaving !!!!booo but still awesome to catch up with that kiwi boy. The hostel was pretty cool, theres not much to do on the island apart from soak up the sun and relax, so i treated it as a betty ford clinic after my dirty week with the sexy george. The hostel is right on the beach and pretty much has everything you want there, hammocks, cheap food a bar on the beach, free Yoga in the mornings and a tent to have a message in. so first day chilled on the beach, swam in the crystal blue waters, few beers and bed at 11pm... then the second day mmmmmm seemed to be one of those "just give up" Days, luckily jack fuckedoff and went diving so i thought i'd sort my life tried
Yoga osort out my credit card and was completely unsuccessful and managed to block myselfout of my account and get use allmy credit on my phone calling them... then had to buy another esta to be in transit for fucking america, emailed the embassy about my visa issue (the fact i don't have one and have been an illegal immirgrant for 2.5months!!) to get anautomated response saying they don't deal with visas...and nomore info of where i should go...thanks british consulate, nice to know theres a need for you! Then wenttogotothe beach and a downpour of tropicalrain came!!!...shouldn't have got out of bed. finally ran to beach when the sun poppedout for hours...and jackcame back moaning about howbad the diving was... I thought "great the most negative peron ever is totally gonna boost my day", so after our unsucessful, absolutely got ripped off for shitty tacos evening meal... i needed to run away from him and treated myself to a message from a rather lovely mexican male massus!ohmy god halfanhourfor 100pesos(£5). It's my first massage and fuckme it wasincredible, hepulled out all the tension from my neck to my fingers... and totally shookoff the bad day i was having, and left feeling ontop of the world and stress free. Grabbed mynetbook, a beer and a hammock and watched a cheeky bit of "whip it" the most amazing chickflick ever... and riding my happy buzz, that night i took advantage of my free drinks and meet "Che" a 37year old burner who knows Larry and builds houses so obvious a winner imybooks!! absolute Legend!! so just got wasted on gin & tonics and chatted all night to Che about burning man, we even played thumbs wars..and this funny "pulling each other over" game in the beach bar.. ha ha then when the bar closed we ranoff and climbed this huge wooden watch tower which was surrounded by barb wire...crazy what ou thinkis a good idea whenyour pissed.. and sat and talked about architecture for a few hours!!
oh yes wokeup with a killer of a hangover !

bus to tulum wit hanover!! booo got their at 3pm and the weather was shit and there wasn't much to do in the town as the ruins and beach were miles away..but the sexy george was in town... so i begged him to come entertain moi, so smoked a joint with this mexican called stefan? and ate the most sexual pad thai ever!!! then me and george went out and drank a million beers in some bean bags..then enjoyed a night in what looked like a hospital crack den!!! ha morning went to Tulum.. the most over rated ruins ever.. could walk up them...yanks cruise groups everywhere..and you have to walk around the railings...booo...but we did bump into Ryan a canadian we ended up drinking with in Oaxaca, so he tagged along when we went to the rather windy cloudy beach!! And back to the hhostel where we snuckin beer and ordered more pad thai...and the sexy george came to join us, and became our last night in Mexico, so we chilled in a hammock, cwtched and drank beer..beautiful ending to a beautiful friendshipmeow xx

The most epic horendous bus journey!!tulum-cancun-mexico city 32hours,crazy Visa issue shit!!
so this is a very emotional part ofmyblog in the way that i couldn't describe the waves of different emotions that surpassed me during this bus journey... so bein a good girl igot to tulumbus station at 8.45am to get a 2hr bus back to cancun.. to catch my 1pm 1,500 peso luxury bus to mexico city (was told i couldn't get a bus from tulum). couldn't get a bus to cancun till 10am.. so as long as there was no delays i would be okay...not only did the bus show up at 10.30am.. but the bus driver continued to stop every 15mins to let a load of mexicans off and on, so i sat for 3 hours on a bus..full of aniexty..constantly checking my watch. filling up with tears at 1pm knowing i missed my bus and so angry at the fucking shit ADO bus company... when we hit the bus station i totally missed my bus ran to the counter and lucky the women took pitty on me and booked me on the 2.30pm bus for a kid price....666pesos... so went and grabbed a quasadilla from the place george took me..then 2.30pm was on bus to Mexico city. okay iknew iwas in for a 24 hourjourney.....notonly did we end up driving through tulum!! which did not impress me,but again this bus stopped constantly...andin stead ofit being 24 hours i got into Mexicocity nortes
at 7pm the next day!! exhusted so tired from so much upright sleeping. when i got to amigo hostel in mexico luck changed... i walked in it was free food, movie night and watched the most hilarious film called "machetti" cracking taking the piss roger rodgergez action film, then treated myself to a bad boy beer and who come down the stairs,but Julia frompuerto.. caught up over a few beers, then my beautiful bed for some epic amounts of sleep and a early wake up call... from the "24 hour mission around mexico city to sort out my visa issue!!!"
Woke up at 7am... grabbe a coffee and a doughnut then onto the pack tubes to the INM (immagration offices in mexico) 9am sharp was one of the firt at the desk... only to be told that I needed to go to the airport toimmagration there... so treked to the airport.. and when i explain my story "walked over tijuana border didn't reaalise i needed to get a stamp and a card from a crazy office could tell me how to sort it out!! so i've been illegal for 2.5 monthsand flying out tommorrow and can't be delayed because i have connecting flights mexico city toLA then LA to Auckland!" well he looked at my like I was a total gringo turd, and fined me 2,228 pesos! ouch...the pat days ave been a massive blow to the budget!!! can... but it was all sorted i returned to the hostel guilt free, and then that night got pissed with Jed another burner who is apart of the caterpillar art car and some aussie whobeen travelling for 9 years writing about communismin other country good night.. got toaaly smashed for my last night in mexico.
woke up at 8am... me and jed managed to squeeze in the freida Kahol musuem and the bet taco ever in coyacucan before i left at 1pm to the airport for yet another mission of travelling...mexico city flight at 4.55pm landed LA with an addition 2 extra hour coz the time difference,hang around the airport for 4 hours tofly out by quantas at 11pm.... 13.5hour of the most beautiful flight i'd ever taken (ended up with 3 seats stretch to myself, pillows and a wine and a steak dinner, lots of sleep and films galore!!) arrived in Auckland, New Zealand at 10.30am 25th of November (lost the 24th somewhere!!) and boom i was in New Zealand baby...oh and at customs had to get my gammy tent checked by the biodiverity cutoms..sohad to wait anextra 30mins.. only to giveme backmy tent totally unfolded...and me crappy myself that they might have found drugs or some crazy shit from burning man!!! but passed wit flying colours and left to pack away my dusty tent in the  middle of the airport! gay

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