soof course after a 30hour bus journey my belly was going nuts...and I literally didn't prep myself for the heat (after being on aair con bus) so bizarrely left my hotel room and in the direction of food thinking there would be lots of food vendors....eeerrr actually no... the thing is about mexico...This is the first place where I've actually travelled which is esentially digeted in poverty. The people live in cramped broken and make shift houses, kids are in the streets playing in the murky waters.. even though this is a holiday resort, where I'm staying in downtown..near the old town,my hotel is in a "working class" area which in truth is the real Mexico.
So as you can imagine as I'm wlakin around the d=streets at night trying to find somewhere to eat.. all I have in mind is that classic "when you end up in a back alley GET OUT" but the thing was the whole neighbourhood was one back alley.. in fact I got to one end of a street and there was lots of red green and white flags and tacky bunting, loada white pation furniture with a giant stage and your typical fat mexicans with massive moustashes alined with guitars.. thinking it might be an awesome restaurant.. but realising when seeing 3 leathered wrinkley old ladies clutching a box of ferreo Rosshia that infact I'd just stumbled upon someones wedding!!! ha ha crapped myself more, I then thought fuck it I'm in over my head and ran until I saw shops I recognised till I find my Hotel! During my scramble back to my hotel, I stumbled across a mexican pizza place... so I ran in feeling like a cop out coz it wasn't a burrito..
Snatched two slices of hot meat and jalapeno's pizza (ohcome on it has jalapeno's so technically it's mexican) sat down next to some mexican teenagers with their skateboards, and scoffed the pizza down in .4 sec... but you know what was the most sexual part of that pizza.. the cup of motherfucking cherryade the lady added to my meal!! bless her she did her best to understnd my aweful spanish, which turms out it's just easier to point and say pourva voura,so i don't know if it was a part of the meal... or if she just felt sorry for me... but either way it was sexual!
Found my hotel, got into my room and breathed a sign of relief. Rule number 1 when travelling; always explore and get you bearings in DAYLIIGHT, NOT at night when you can't even see the street signs!! ha ha
So daylight came and I amazingly woke up at 10am in my hotel room with 12 hours of blissful sleep .. oh yes..no fucker waking me up in the dorm at 7am rustling with there fucking sanibags.. or no asswipe coming in at 4am and argueing with the peron underneath them coz they're making so much noise and rockin the bed (all experiences are based on real life) I actually had the best night sleep since leaving Cardiff! So anyho,up for my adventure.. back packon, computer and valuable stashed in secret places in the room. And out I go to explore Matazlan... well exploring isn;t the word, getting lost is...So rule of thumb follow the sea!. Where I am there is one massive beach that stretches 2.5miles called Player Nortes, I'm right at the bottom end where all the fishermen were,sorting out their nets and boats...and entertainng the huge motherfucker pelicans that were hoovering round for fish! Got a cheeky hola froma few of them, and jogged on round this mofo cliff edge heading down to old town.
on my wee walk I noticed how everything was completetly closed,or shut down..and it seemed mazatlan was a ghost town! But there was a few mexicans families which seemed like they were on holiday? So as I was walking along the long promenade (literally about 4miles of it!) I also came across loadsa a small little beaches..with amazing surf beacuse it was right of the edge of this cliff face, they were so beautiful, and the pacific Ocean completely roars at you with it's massive waves!! it's amazing how know fucker is around to appreciate it??? On my walk I also came across some cliff divers.. who literally gets the hot young mexican.. to stand on the cliff top... gets the crowd going... while his Dad run around frantically collecting tips..then when you think he is gonna jump... he steps down and his dad does it!!! what;s that about?? amazing to watch them dive into the ocean.. so so near the rocks it's ridiculous!
Finally got to old town.. and was compltetely lost on which road to go down t get to the Muesoum de Artes. ia lovely guy in a golf buggy who spoke little english pointed me in the right direction.
So Museum de Artes.. was meant to pay 20pesos to get in..but as no one was around..So I just casually walked straight in whoo hoo love a bit of free art! It was quite Small, quaint and totally abandoned, so totally took advantage of the epic air con that seemd to be blasting out of every. Man Mexico is fucking HOT!! I'm not complaining beacuse this is the weather I have always been masterbating over but occassionally when you get that cool air blasting your face, you turn into a fat american in walmart!!
The art was very regional and a good use of texture. They seemed to use sand in all their paints, parts of the pictures were chizeled out and repainted over the layers..it was cool and very mexican. Kinda Diego Rivera meets sand pit! The permenant collection, was acomplete photo series of the revolution in 1910, which may I add that on the 15th and 16th there is a huge mother fucking party going down here in mexico as it's 200 years since the mexican revolution for the Spaniards. It was interesting seeing this geezers collection, as you can totally see how the spanish came,colonised and built up the architurecture of the cities, but it's also really sad to see how the indigenious people, totally lost their indentity, had their land raped by the Spanish! it's crazy to think that the pictures taken were only 100 years ago and looks very much like mexicans in victorian dressage! Once discovering the mexican revolution via photo's I left thinking that was it of thr museum de atres..and like any fellow art lover headed for the bookshop. While perusing da books, the guy across the counter said in english 'can I help you with anything" dude the first fricking bit of english I had heard in 48 hours!! So jumped at the chance of a conversation and asked if there was more to the exhbition, To which Eric (who strangley looked like a mexican Eric Banner!! can!!) tookme to another room to show me more art by sand pieces... hhmmm crusty, bless the guy told me lots of places to go here and more importantly Mexico City! he seemed to have a bit of semi when talking about all the differnet galleries there so I whipped out my lonely planet and asked him to point out the best.. Wikid so looking forward to Mexico City!
So the museum de artes took all of 1 hour of my time which kinda sucked as I dedicated a whole 5 hours thinking it would compete with the tate! So thought i'd go for a walk to find the light house....2 hours later and I was completetly lost again in the centre of Old town.. So fuck this..I saw the sea and headed towards it. Found a cute little bar by the beach! The waiter wa so lovely (his name was Antonio and evertime I walk past the place he always gives me a wave and shouts Juan!! !! ahhh) Antonio bring me my first sexual beer of Mexico (pacifico beer) at a steal of 15 pesos a pint! (75p) and withing seconds of my first galp, he informs me that there is a Gentlemen from England called Simon who comes here often, then within seconds whips my chair from out of me, grabs my beer and like a dog... coaxed me over to where Simon was sat!! Aboslute can, there went my Shirley Valentine moment!! So I sparked up a converstaion with this 42 year old Simon, feeling really bad, as you could tell he was quite interested in watching the Man utd vs Ranger game! But as time pertruded it seemed Simon Knew Cardiff Really well, knew Charlotte Church since she was 10, totally stared talking about "the Conway" and "the Mochyn Du" pubs in my localarea... and the fact that he's an east London boy from Ilse of Dogs... just shows what a small little world we live in my friends!! He also told me all the places to eat and check out like the Catherdral, how to actual get to the lighthouse, and more importantly how safe it is here. I've noticed when walking around that people espeically men will stop and stare..many always greet me 'hola' to which I smile back and reply Hola and peg it! Being white and pastey makes you totally stick out like a sore thumb, but at first I though they were being rude, but as Simon points out that it's actually because the local people are looking. They can see I'm alone and a women and that's why they are always acknowlegding me. Since thenow been here for over 2 days I notced that MExican are the most friendly people ever! They stop their little golf buggies and help me with directions, always wanting to chat and ask where I'm from, they are their country and seem chuffed to bits that I am here!! So After talking to simon for ages I end up fnding this guy fasinating! his been living in Mazatlan or 5 years... and actually has replicated my dream of building his own house by the beach.. It wasn;t until he showed me he fuck off massive masion on the cliff's edge overlooking the beach, did it twig this guy was a fucking Millionaire! But as he talked through his emense career in Advertising and setting up numerous businesses, that this geezer has earnt every damn Penny! and knows his shit... so as a budding Entrepenur he gave me 3 tips when starting your own business.. 1) to have the willpower and dedication to the cause 2) to have a little bit of luck 3) to always choose a Buisness partner that you can trust NOT have a relationship with! So i told him my business plan, and fuck me in all fairness he liked it and saw it working whoo hoo... it was like being blessed by Richard Branston!! he pointed out area's I needed to work on and look into, and with that handed me a serivette with his email for whenever I may need advice.. What a fucking Legend. Not only was he a legend but by the time we were on this subject we had necked at least 8 pints, To which can honestly say I was absolutely Cunted by 3.30pm!! So Simon being the legend that he was paid for ALL my drinks, let me smoke shit loads of his fags... and I left to go find my hotel to collapse and simmer off all the beer!!. Oh and munch a whole bag of crisps Alan Partridge Stylie!!
After waking up at 8pm from my drunken haze.. I decided to stroll down to the Zona Dorada (golden area) which is a 2 mile walkdown the playa Norte.. It was beautiful to watch the sun set, the sky goes like a midnight blue at the top and bright red and blood shot orange in the horizon! As I walked down the promenade there was loads of Mexican families clearly on holiday with their kids playing on the sand and soooo many couples roller blading together..or to be general, just being together snogging each other which faces off, which as I walked made me really sad! kinda got that "I wish someone was here experiences this with me,or someone to scrape the blood of my knee when I tripped off my rollerblades.. but hey c'est la vie!.. this is the route I've chosen and lets face facts I'm still having shit loadsa fun even if it is with myself and blogfans!! ha ha. So finally got to the end of the Zona Dorada, and it was a complete and utter pile of shit! It was just spain, with the big resorts and Macd's. In major diappointment just enjoyed the other 2miles back.. just watching the waves a a guy in a wheelchair who awkardly ended up at the same pace as me, so we kept smiling at each other and saying 'hola' like 52 billion times!!
So the next day minus evening hangover,again totally slept till 9am.. can finally see my face pulling back together after 2 years of working 70hour weeks!! And today Iwas going to find stuff.. And I succeeded. I took a golf cart to the internet plac for a sexy 20peso (that's £1) and skyped my best friends Ross and the sexy Danny whoo successful. Seriously when did technology get that fucking great that you can speak and see your friends for free..seriously anyone who is on Skype add me I'm under Gwenllian.Ash! Love a good chin wag and an actual english conversation! Fell out of the internet place and straight into the catherdral! so beautiful, completely painted in Bright yellow, and as you enter that typical Catholic altar with the Scared tanned face Mary covered in gold and bling!..Kat you'll be glad to know there were epic amounts of Nun's, I was in my element! So walked around then sat at the back to listen to the crazy ''hhhahhhhhaaarroooow ddee vvaaauucchhooo ssscccrraaaadddiitttcchooo" sounds from the choir then pegged it out when I relised that I didn;t believe in God and felt bad for intruding on something quite sacred! The one thing I love about Mexico, is that it truely is a Freida Khalo Painting, the whole place is painted in bright oranges, red, yellows, deep blues and illuminous green, the total opposite of dull, grey, everything has to match Britain! It's actually buzzing! I walked into market..and it's got your average Pig heads, fruit baskets, colourful cotton dresses, but everyone isn't trying to sell you stuff, there just constantly saying 'hola' to everyone. I sat down on one of the food booth and had the most sexual 'pollo taco's and a bottle of coke' for yet another steal of 40 pesos (£2.00) then ducked and dived out of the carnage to find this fucking lighthouse...!
After walking another 2 miles all up hill I found it. Little bit of trivia for you here but it's the only manual working lighthouse in the world. Yes all the others are automatic, but this one has little mexican man moving the latern around. So saw that for all of 2.5 mins while catching my breathe and downing loadsa water.. the treked on over to the port so I can take the water boat over to 'Isla de la Piedra'
So hopped onto a small fishing boat with 5 fat mexicans all singing some crazy spanish song and their cool box! and within 2 minutes reached the Island, some small mexican boy who spoke good english dragged me to go to the otherside of the island and not the commerical bit... soas they were offering a free ride I took it! and by fucking god it was beautiful, His family owned the only restrant on the otherside with a whole beach to itself! My god it was paradise, So i kicked off my flipflops went for a paddle and sat under a palm tree and read my lonely planet guide. You know those moments you alway dream of when your at your fucking computer desk, saying fuck I wish I was on a deserted beach with a cold beer in one hand and a mexican pizza in the other... Well I was! The beer was perfectly chilled and food was so much they put it in a take away box! but the view of the island and the sea was to die for!! you could see where the island tailed off a long row of a palm tree jungle that went on for miles! The owners brother in law called "Carlos" who spoke very broken english came and offered me a tour of the island for free. so as I had an hour to kill... totally went with it... I actually couldn't understand anything he said apart from 'she is working' which I think meant his sister and refurred to most things as 'she'! but he helped me with my spanish, taught me how to say all the place i was going to, and advised me not to walk into the jungle, as most girls get kidnapped in there (good job I got the free tour hey!!) Got back on the boat with the same singing mexicans, hop off and grabbed one of those sexy golf cart taxi's!!! ha ha which can I say what a fucking legend thses guys are!!! This dude totally took me around town showing me things, laughing at all the crazy people in the street... shouting at all the le in the traffic jams,making illegal moves on the road and pavement!! then to top it off...without even nat the road.. kept screming 'I have song for you, I have song for you' while messing around with the tape player, practically crashing into everything on the road... hit play and 'Pretty women' started booming fromis car!! I wet myself all the way home and told him that he made my day!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE MEXICAN PEOPLE!!
September the 16th is Mexican independance day,so like new year, theres a massive celebration on the eve of 16th. You can feel the whole town is getting ready for it. So to join the festive fun, I necked a bottle of Corona in my room, grabbed my bag and headed out for the fiesta. Man all the roads were closed off by fuckoff mexican Police with their bushy black moutashes , hence making my journey through this labriyth moredifficult.. but notice that people were flocking in one direction,so when doubt follow the crowd. Awesome hit the Catherdral and all around it was green red and white bunting, crowds and crowds of mexicans families with cute little mexican girl on their dad's shoulders wearing the typicalmexicann dress(long colourfulcotton skirts, with white laced t-shirts and their black hair in two plaits!!) so so cute. There as a massive Stage with a huge mexican flag, the acts were quite random, there was two guys with massive coconut maracas one with a tuffed deer on his head, prncing around to drumming music, and ten you ad the typical mexican band with brass accompanying a large mexican lady belting out a few classic, and shouting "Via Mexico" " Via Americano"!!
Walked through sat down and drank a beer and soaked up the festivities for an hour or so,then moved on to the Plazuela Machado, which is the local square which also had lots of festivities gong on,mostly for families, which is kind of a fantastic way to sum up the mexican culture.. If that was us brits and it was ay of celebration, we would grab all our mates and use it s an excuse to get fucked up royally! But in Mexico celebrations are spent with family. It was awesome to see everyone having lots of fun in massive huddles, there's gran & grandad, mum & dad and all 6 of their children dancing, singing and consuming lots of dirty mexican food off the street vendours. (er one dish i have to tell you about, sarah you would be moist at the thought, was literally a plate full of mountain high cut up hot dog sauages wrapped in tortilla's smeared in that dirty cheesy nachos sauce with shit loadsa of japalpenos - Yet another heart attack on a plate)
As I didn't have a mexican family to party with I moved myself to the water hole I found before, and low and behold, Simon was there drunk as a skunk, so i joined him and celebrated the Mexican Independance Day with him drinking Tequilla, beer and menthol cigerettes! Whoo via la mexico! So as I was foxtrotted badly back to my hotel, I couldn't stop watching the crazy roads, as shit loadsa youngsters all riding on the back of motobikes, literally 4 people on one motorbike!! screaming and waving the mexican flag, loadsa of teenagers on the promanade or in the back of truck, flirting with massive hispanic boys in their dirty trucks pumping out spanish music! Even the old couples sat on the wall watching the waves whispering sweet nothings to each other ahhh so sweet.. man this place is magical. And that was the night that I fell in Love with Mexico!
oh I also had a gecho land on my head in my hotel room and finally finished the book ross gave "just kids" by patti smith and sobbed under some fuck off shades at the rather sad ending!
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