Saturday, 11 September 2010

Decompression mofo San Fran - San Diego

So Decompression is what you get when you get out of Black Rock City and into the real world... it takes you like fucking days to readjust to the real world, things like remembering to flush a toilet. It's a bit like the "Avatar effect", you come out of BRC and everything isn't as pretty as Burning Man!!

So I'll start the decompression story at Burger King in "Sparks" the truck stop on the bus ride home to San Fran..... So we all run to Burger King.... kinda forgetting we needed money... kinda realised that we drank so much at burning man that a chicken nugget is enough to fill us up... I ran to the one mmmaaasssivveee toilet... seriouly one toilet in a bathroom that was the size of a football pitch!! weird ass... But walked out totally forgetting to flush!!

I need to tryand charge my netbook to find out where the fuck my hostel is... poor Dave is trying to skype me... but some knob jockey is playing with his iphone and fucking up my cable... and it all gets to much for me as technology is something I can't be dealing with while I'm being rushed.... At that point I have run to get back on the bus... as me & scarlet pegged it over to the bus we see Tom.. a fellow young Irish man on our bus, slip of the small brick wall!!!... as he turns around all flustered... all me and scarlet see... is  BONE!!! yes that motherfucker split his fucking knee open!!! Opened GASH, All we can see white bone and blood oozing out... So I run over like fricking mother terasa get my canvas bag out and start pushing the gash together and apply pressure Girl Guide handbook stylie!! Finally we got a first aid kit... and poured Hydrogen Peroxide over it...eerr I've never seen flesh and blood froth before!! eeerrrr... then we tried to pin it together & bandage it up with gaffer tape and try and get that bad boy to the nearest hospital!!

After all the 'cuffuffle' and ed were having a fag and a chin wag about mexico... and strangely as he was talking about going to Chihuahua..we turned and saw an actual little chihuahua shitting on the car park.. how bizzare!!!just thought i'd pop that in!
Poor Tom (the guy with the gash) was gonna try and hold it out to San Fran.... but being in crazy America and speaking to some americans ... I've learnt some crazy shit about the American Healthcare system!! So apparently if you don't go to the Hospital within 6 hour they'll refuse to treat it...Hence it will get infected..and then you'll have to pay them $450,000 to cut of your leg!!! so we had to do a detour to Secremento to drop the dude off to hospital, and as it was Labour day (a crazy day where they celebrate working or something) traffic was bad... so we were getting into San fran till late 10.30pm (meant to 7pm!!) so loadsa people lost their flights... I called up green tortoise Hostel begged for a room for those two nights... and bingo... all sorted..and easy does it...all the crowd where heading back to the green tortoise!

So we arrived at, what i would love to call 'My 2nd home" the Green Torise Hostel.. a carnage of a check-in with 15 odd dusty..sleep deprived burners...alongside all our fellow clean burners welcoming us home... telling us how orgasmic their shower was... and anyone who knows me knows me well... I thought fuck it i'm not showering i'm dumping my stuff and getting a beer! and thank god all my sexy crew did the same!!

At 12am....another create of pepes, 60 crush mentalcamels (awesome fags that you pop a capsule to make them menthol!!) and me, Trent, Tom , Scarlet, Mitch, Sanchez , Ed and Ed (graced us with their precence from their hotel)& the sexy jolie... drinking...shouting smoking up the good times..and reminising Burning Man 2010 till 6am in the morning!!! we were all fucked up again!!! We left the cleaning lady like 5bucks just so could continue to clean around us and get breakfast ready!!! sanchez caught his flight at like 4am.. Tom pulled and all nighter and left to get his train...and Trent found his mattress a little later than expected!!ha ha

So that is decompresion... I didn;t wake up till 12pm..and when I did, I struggled with life itself!!....only to return to my bunk with 2 slices of amazing meat infested pizza, Trent and his pizza, and jurassic Park fully loaded!! Actually couldn't deal with humans..computers and washing my entire rucsack!! can!!

So surprise surprise after a few hours snoozing..7.30pm rolled up and it was free beer in the Ballroom...whoo hoo.. and plenty drinking games to be done with!!... so the 4 burners, Mitch Scarlet and Trent split onto all 4 teams and battled it out against each other!!! It was proper American.. red cups...fucking kegs..lets get drunk college stylie... Typical I ended up of the UK B side full of a loads of English Guys from London and Birmingham... which were absolute legends at firsts (although I did tell them 6 times that my name was Gwen... NOT Welshie!) but as the free beer flowed into our retched gobs.... (seriously had a few of those I'm gonna "Projectile Vomit" moments, from forcing gallons of warm beer down my gob, while being antagonised by a loud mouth tottenham supporter!!) they did that typical english twat thing where they started getting leary, one twat actually sat next to us and went through why England is the best in world...and educated Mitch on the " Great British Embassey".. to which 'Mitch attempted to look interested at him.. while glancing at me doing a massive WANKER sign over the guys head! Also the geezer continued to rant to us bunch of new found hippies...about how if " anyone who has a tattoo, is gay and a fucking dickhead!" well that didn't go down too well... and I am happy to say he finally got the message and fucked off before Trent whippeg out his kickboxing skills!! Dude seriously.. well 2.30am came and after 2 games of pool.... Bedtime!

(this is not me!! but you get the idea of Keg party)

Then next day was meant to be spent walking across the golden gate bridge.. but I actually spent a wonderful day with Trent doing cartwheels on the beach. enough said.. solem and beautiful....yet windy as fuck!!

Got back to the hostel...had my last philly cheese steak from Busters..said goodbye to the last of a amazing bunch...and hopped on the greyhound for my 12 hour bus the San Diego.....

I have heard some crazy stuff about Greyhound buses... people having their heads cut off... fricking hillbillies harrassing you... but you know it wasn't that bad..I've had worst experiences on  the megabus!! (come one ross you knows what I'm on about!!!). I popped a sleeping pill (thanks kat for the advice) and slept uncomfortably for 6hours of it.. the rest was spent listening to my ipod.. trying to understand LA as we drove through it, it was fine!!  although we did stop at a burger king in the middle of nowhere at 3am... and that was full of inbreds.. but hey I survived.

So San Diego...

So my hotel is in the suburbs.. but I'm right next to ocean beach!! So this is me Checkin into the 'Betty Ford Clinic' of my blog...I arrive thursday afternoon...emailled and skype all the important people of my life to let them know I didn't fall and die off some crazy 30ft burning totem pole in burning man. Did ALL my washing...and even baby wiped my bag to get that fucking playa dust off.. then bam...12am out like a light..

Friday.. woke up at 10am had some bagels.. felt like fricking ernest hemmingway... writing my epic Burning man blog for 4 hours..with 4 cups of coffee and some pancakes! hoping in some way to educate the masses of my experience... so by 2pm I was like fuck it... I'm ready to face society.. grab my flip flops..and heading to ocean beach!

Not the beautiful beach ever, but beautiful enough to keep me content with running my toes in the sand... whippig out a book....i'm reading 'just kids' by Patti Smith, so inspirtional and adapt... she makes you realise that if you have a dream just follow and live it! So it was that moment I looked up... so my feet in the sand.. watch the waves crashing with the poor efforts of the surfers....crazy flock of pelicans hoovering over the pier.. and thought... "I've done it"... it was the one thing I said to people when I was working my balls off... that it will all be worth it... when I'm sat on a beach chilling reading a book... tttaaaaa daaaaa!

After a while I put on my shoes... walked across the fisherman's pier, back down to Newport Street, where I browsed a couple of awesome vintage shops, everything was so quirky there...They actually had this Vinyl/tape/videoshop called 'milk' where it was exactly like the clssic music shop that our generation grew up on.... row and rows of 80's 90's video's, Vintage vinyl and of course my favourite (becky you would have pooed your pants) tapes tapes and more tapes...David Bowie to Micheal Jackson's Bad, they had literally all the tapes I wanted to own...where did all the tapes go????? The owner asked if he could help...but the only thing I could tell him... is that "i was so jealous that this was his livelyhood!!" and he smiled back in a smug way!! too true brother!!!...

So the best way to describe San Diego,Point loma, is it's full of people cruising (not in the gay way!!) but everyones either cruising on a skateboard, cruising on a beach bike, surf board taking their time as they cruise the roads... The men are all built hespanic men with loadsa tattoo's and baseball caps... fricking high fiving and nodding! It's cool, it's like being in an episode of Miami ink! The girls are the same too petite and chilled.. like no one works!! anyway..Newport st was awesome..defo cool in a camden meet newquay kinda way. I also got some awesome chinese food from the cutest place ever...where everyone who came in knew the assistants name and she knew their order! I also got a fortune cookie that said..."That someone loves to see the light in your eyes" we shall see what that means!! Also followed with some numbers " 05 15 16 35 39, 15" so anybody who wants to play the lottery go nuts!!

Saturday is 9/11 day here in the USA!! and what better way that to 'Take me to the ball game'

Oh yes people me and two lovely New yorkers Rebecca and Gabrielle, from my hostel... trucked down to Petco Stadium.. to see the San Diego Padres vs the San Fransico Giants!! whoooo hooo... yes I had a $8 beer and yes I scoffed my weight in nachoss.. coated in illuminous cheese and jalapanoes while trying to understand the logistics of the game (Boy it's not as fast paced as I thought it was, and there's lots and lots of rules...but hey I saw the one and only homerun of the game...and saang 'take me to the ball game' in the 7th innings!!

Had to haul my ass to the greyhound to sort out my bus to Mexico.... a lovely 36 hours bus ride to Matazlan(to go save turtles), but have to sort it out over the crazy boarders of Tijuana! wish me good luck!

So came back to my boring suburban Hostel... I Snuck in a cheeky massive bottle of Heineken (there's a no alcohol or smoking rule!! err never go with international Hostelling) oh and went past a 'drive by shoot out'... my bus got diverted and is I pop off the bus, you could see police taping up the area...with a car with the window smashed in and like 5 - 6 bullet holes... and you could faintely make out the driver...scary shit mate!! so ran my hostel..east london stylie! now I'm ready for Mexico... whoo hoo got my lonely planet guide.. and ready to help save some turtles from some crazy cracked up Egg Stealing mexicans!!

So guys this is my last blog for a while....
as I'llbe brewing mexicoand the turtle sanctuary...and they just had a flood soelectricty is going to take a while.. my phone will be one... and if anyone needs to get hold of my this is where I will be.. Patanitos Sea Camp.

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